My dreams begin with me looking at myself in the mirror with my mom behind me smiling and crying because she is so happy for me. I realize as the dream gets clearer and clearer that it’s my wedding day and I’m going to marry the man of my dreams, Terry.
I’m wearing the most beautiful dress I could ever imagine, and everything is going the way I want it. As I see all my girls walking down the aisle, I can hear “Wedding March.” I look at my mom on my left and my uncle Mike to my right (my father is not in my life) as the doors open I see the church and all its beauty with the candles, flowers, our entire family, and I begin to walk toward Terry.
I give my mom and uncle a kiss as I begin to tear up just a bit. I grab onto Terry’s hand, we look at the father, then we hear the father ask, “Who gives this woman to this man?” As my mom, stepdad, uncle, and my ex-stepmother were about to stand up and say their little word that they had to, “We all do,” my birth father walks right in and says, “I don’t.”
Terry and I turned around and looked at him with wonder as to what he was doing there; we didn’t send him an invite, we didn’t ask to him come, and no one in my family RSVP’d for him. Then the church gets dark, the wedding stops, I look up and everyone from all sides of family are walking out the door as though they were leaving a funeral. I start to feel like its going to rain, I begin to cry. I feel myself getting angry yelling at him, “Why are you here? You are not wanted, you were not needed,” I start to ask around to certain family members and asked, “Did you invite him with you?” I get a no, but finally I look at my cousin Maria and she says, “Yes, I invited your dad.”
I begin to cry, I start screaming at the both of them at the top of my lungs, yelling and crying at Maria asking, “Why would you do this to me on my most important day of my life?” “No one did this to you when you didn’t invite your own dad.” The wedding is stopped by this and then it gets even darker. I’m standing there in my beautiful wedding dress and everyone is leaving me, except Terry, he is still standing right there next to me.
I wake up the next morning thinking of that dream wondering will my family really do this to me? Will that actually happen if Terry and I do get married? How do I deal with my family after they do that?