My boyfriend or, as I referred to him, my significant other, of twenty-four years and I have parted ways and no longer together. This is about a very disturbing dream that I had. It seemed so very real. This is my dream.
As time goes, by my ex and I never get back together. But we never find anyone else either. We run into each other from time to time, and rekindle some of what we once had. But always wind up going our separate ways again.
At first I see myself climbing down a steep cliff, like Hells Canyon. I look very young. My hair is very short; the style reminds me of one Doris Day had. When I get to the bottom, my ex is there staying in a motor home. I stay with him for a time.
Then I see myself older. I am at a nightclub. I spot one of my ex’s friends, who is always with him. My heart races with anticipation of seeing my ex. I immediately go over and ask where my ex is and if he is in the club. The friend tells me that he has died. The room and lights begin to turn quickly, making everything blurry. All the years and memories are flying by in fast motion.
As things begin to slow down, I see a tall, narrow window and a small room. In front of the window, someone is sitting there in a bright red dress and is very old and alone.
As I focus in like a camera and move in closer, I realize that it is me. Sitting there, reliving the past in my mind of all the fun and all the love my ex and I had together. I am old and alone with only my memories of yesterday. It seemed like I had Dementia. There was no tomorrow, just yesterday. I was in my ex’s arms and we were holding each other and loving each other.
When I woke up from the dream, it left me feeling so empty and so alone. I felt as if there was no future ahead and no one I will ever truly love like I did my ex. I felt at first like there was no reason to go on with life. But I looked at my dog Shane (he is a Sheltie) lying next to me. He is like my shadow and wherever I am, he is with me. If I am sad or cry, he immediately starts loving me and licking me as if he is saying not to be sad or lonely. He is there for me. I know my dog loves me as much as I love him, even if he is only a dog. He would be lost without me as I would be him. Looking at him made me realize I do have someone or something to love as much as I do my ex, and his love is unconditional—not accusing or demanding. Shane is my reason for living. I only wish I could kiss him and he would turn into my prince and we would love each other and be happy until the end of time. For he would be such a gentle, loving man.