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Journal Entry #3025: Jumping Orbits

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I am a reluctant visitor on an alien planet. The shapes and colours and life forms are familiar; the topography appears normal. But this world is louder and brighter and I can’t understand the language. I was abducted silently, without fanfare or advantage of precognition. I am an amnesiac without awareness of my amnesia.

Feels like that Jim Carey movie “Truman” where he’s unwittingly filmed in a make-believe world. His world is a giant movie set and all the people actors and viewers. Ed Harris directs the movie within the movie. I am the only unnatural element in this landscape. My atoms form a different pattern in this quilt of fake. I do not belong.

I read a physics article last year about the behavior of atoms. Scientists specifically studied the electrons orbiting the nucleus of the atom. They observed the two electrons switching orbits—all of a sudden. One would be in Orbit A and suddenly appear in Orbit B, with the electron in Orbit B simultaneously appearing in Orbit A. When the scientists consulted the rapid-fire nanosecond photo shots, no physical movement was detected.

There was no observable/recordable transcendence of time in the electrons’ orbital exchange.

There was no physical motion. They were there, then, simply here. The generally accepted theory is the electrons jumped orbits simply because they were being observed. How outrageous is this?! Because if present theory is correct and individual atomic particles are conscious, we humans have so much more power than we previously believed. This new discovery is in a class by itself – beyond telekinesis, beyond astral projection.

This phenomenon was likened to a flock of birds which descends or ascends together simultaneously, as one body, without apparent communication or a leader initiating flock action. This is also observable when, during flight, the entire flock abruptly changes direction, suggesting the group is of a single consciousness. Star Trek fans (eye roll….yeah, I’m one) have been entertained along this line by the part human/part machine aliens, The Borg.

We all know about cause-and-effect, how every action begets an action. If this law extends from human relations to an individual atom, and we change our environment simply by observing it, what then? The possibilities are infinite. But then, so are the repercussions of our individual and collective actions.

There has been a longstanding universal law of physics which proves that anything we fix our attention upon increases in energy and thrives. When we withdraw our attention from a thing, it decreases in energy, diminishes. This is true of a houseplant, animal, or human relationship. This new finding in atomic electronic behavior forces the conclusion that observation of an object, person or event is not passive, but rather deliberate action with the demonstrated ability to affect outcome.

Early Native Americans understood what the white man did not; they were cognizant of this law of Nature all along and incorporated it into their radiant philosophy of living: Walk gently. Leave no footprints.

And this is all great and interesting news. But right now, I am the star about to go supernova, implode upon myself. My skin is trying to crawl off my body. I’m having ab spasms and panic attacks. Agoraphobia has clipped my wings and my confidence. I ingest the prescribed meds at the instructed times; I deal with their predictable side effects. I fight mightily in thought and action to live consciously in the Now, yet I keep sliding into thoughts of the not-too-distant past, when I was more than I am now, when I was competent, before the fall into life, love and chemical disarray. And these acid memories are burning me alive. My flock won’t fly.

I must be farther off the spectrum than I thought. I don’t understand the language. Se hable Borg? Parlez-vous bipolar?

Wish I could jump my orbit.


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