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Abused and used

I have grown up in a situation, where, as a small child my uncles would hold me, and touch me in the wrong way, and I grew up  thinking that this was love, when it was so, wrong, and at the age of 16,  I was raped,  by two, of my family members, and for reasons, I didn’t understand, was not allowed to talk about this, when you’re young, you are taught, to respect what you were told to do, and I grew up feeling so different from everyone else, and now, I am 42, and I have been married 6 times, 3 of the six were abusive, My second husband, I believed was Satan’s brother, and it almost, cost my life,  I was so fraile, at a weight,of only 79lbs, in a years time due, to daily beatings, sleepless nights,  abusive sexual experiences, and you try everything in this world, even talking, to people you don’t even know, just to make since of it all,   and  as for the following husbands, I was so longing, to find someone, who was just loving, and a friend,  but it seemed, like I was always finding one, who wasn’t happy, unless he had full control,  and again severely beaten,  over and over, You know, if it wasn’t for the prayers, and  the strength, that God has given me, I would not be here, today, especially with a mind.   But women are so easily misled, because we long for deep emotional connections, with our partner,  I was a sucker, for  a smile, and sweet nothings,   and here I am, one more time, in a new relationship,  and I hope and pray with all my heart, that God will be in this one, and for anyone, out there, who feels alone, you’re not, sometimes it takes all the strength, you got left, to just carry on,  Iwill keep each one in my prayers, if you need a friend, hey!  I’ll Listen,


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