I know there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but I could have been much better than what I was. I could go on and on about my parental mistakes, but my parent’s domestic violence damaged me and I did the same to you. I know I will never get an apology from my mother or father, but I love you too much not to apologize for the pain I have caused you.
Instead of caring about their daughter’s well-being, my parents are mad at me for sharing the truth with other family members about their not so perfect life, but it was okay for them to discuss “my” problems with the same family members for many years. I will never forget being twenty years-old and my mother calling me a martyr informing me everyone asks her what is wrong with me, so almost twenty years later I thought it was only fair to tell her the truth, which was telling them they were my problem. My parents are in denial. The truth hurts and they do not care how much they have hurt me. I am not in denial and I do care about how much I have hurt you.
As a matter of fact they have hurt you also. Every time they disowned me they disowned you. When you were eleven months old, we just moved back to Pennsylvania from Arizona in the fall. You were in an oxygen tent for three days with Croup when my mother came into your hospital room to tell me I was disowned and taken out of the will again because I reconciled with your father. She then threatened to have me arrested if I did not return the tons of clothing your aunt gave you. When we moved home, I only had summer clothing for you because it was still 90 degrees in Arizona. Always remember God always provides. I did not have a job yet, but I did have a Sears’s credit card. I had the best time buying the prettiest of winter clothing for you not caring how much the bill was.
Then I find out years later from your aunt she never asked for the clothing back and always wondered why I returned them. My evil mother took clothing off of her own granddaughter’s back because I wanted my marriage to work when she is the one who taught me this behavior. I don’t think you can get any lower than taking from your own grandchild. My “mother” is one of the most evil people I ever met. She has no clue how lucky she is I was only twenty-one years-old when she did this and I was not the person I am today. She would have also been in an oxygen tent.
We just recently found out she threw out a beautiful 10 × 13 picture of you when you were six months old. I am so grateful I have the same picture in 8 × 10. You were lying on your belly looking at your reflection in a mirror. It’s my most favorite picture of you. I will never understand how a grandparent could throw out any picture of their grandchild. My “parents” have never met your beautiful precious daughter and now we are blessed to have another baby on the way they will never have the desire to meet. That is their loss and their problem. Our little family does not need evil people like them in our lives. They will have to answer for their sins against us someday. You need not to worry because I will never treat you as they have treated us. I could not imagine not acknowledging your birthday, which was the best day of my life. You were my precious beautiful baby girl and will be forever even when you are fifty. I could not tell you the last time my parents acknowledged my birthday and that’s okay because that is their problem.
I must also apologize for being so mad at you when you got pregnant as a teenager. I thought you ruined your life, but I now know GOD created our little girl to save both of us. I must have done some things right or you would not be the great mother and hard worker you have become. I could not ever imagine my life without my granddaughter. You both are my pride and joy as will be the new baby.
As I said above I can go on and on apologizing for all my parental mistakes, but you recently opened my eyes when I told you during an argument I protected you from the men I was with. Your reply was, “But who protected me from you, Mom?” You are absolutely right. I cannot say enough how sorry I am for everything I have put you through. Unlike my mother I never intentionally tried to hurt you. While I cannot take back any of the pain I have subjected you to, all I can say is how truly sorry I am and hope the cycle does not repeat itself. I always wanted nothing but the best for you. My parents taught me dysfunction and I did the same to you. I know it’s no excuse, but dysfunctional parents produce dysfunctional children and the cycle of abuse lives on and on. You and I together are two strong-willed females who can break this cycle of abuse in our family, so your children do not have to suffer as we both have. I love you and my grandchildren with all my heart and will be here for you no matter what until I take my last breath.
Love always and forever,
Part 1?(Part 2)