I see this being reflected back to me everywhere I turn. All my messages lately have been about choosing HOW I’m viewing my current experiences, my current relationships, even just the structure of my days. I feel like I’m getting opportunity after opportunity to look at how I take the experiences in my life and make up stories in my head about what’s happening, and how I have the power to CHOOSE and write those story lines to either nurture, support and believe in myself, or to attack, cut down, and doubt myself.
Do you know what I’m saying? Here’s an example.
You met someone who tickles your fancy and makes your heart skip a beat. You connect, you have some fun, you talk all day and night long, and then one night you realize s/he hasn’t called all day/texted/IMed you online. Now in the absence of the information about what’s happening with him or her, here’s where you begin to write your story about what’s happening on the unknown end. Do you tell yourself:
“S/he hasn’t called/texted/IMed me—they don’t really like me/they’re off with someone else/I knew this wouldn’t work/I knew they weren’t really interested in me?”
I know I used to play some variation of that song in my own head . . . and you know where it came from? It came from a place of fear that had so much more to do with how I felt about myself. And my fear, in turn, fostered a further disconnect from myself.
This is how I’m changing this pattern. I CHOOSE to believe that I’m awesome, that I’m following my heart, that all I REALLY have to do is listen to myself for the answers. So in that situation instead of writing a script in my head about what was wrong, I’d write a script that went more like:
“S/he must be really busy/having a hard day. I’m going to send a hug their way in my heart (squeeze) and remember that I am awesome, and I am so so lovable, and people who see that are attracted to me and want to share my life. This person may or may not be one of those—if s/he is, YAY!!! If s/he’s not, s/he will not last long in my life, and will be replaced by someone who does know what I know about me and all I have to offer.”
And then I think about what would make me feel happy in that moment (instead of obsessively checking my phone/computer)—a warm bath? Walk with the dog? Chat with a friend? A good movie? An early night to bed? And point my energy in that direction.
We write our own scripts. Which scripts are YOU choosing to play in your head and heart?