Dear Dr. Romance:
What I have read on your site is interesting—may I ask you to comment on one point?
In his book, Shyness, Philip Zimbardo states, “It is as if the ego were set adrift in a paper boat, aware that a storm is brewing just over the horizon.” Therefore we have the dread that non-shys don’t feel and don’t understand but they try to help with compliments, etc., which are nice but useless. This dread is an internal abyss unseen and unseeable and inexplicable to non-shys whose childhood was different—we, the truly shy feel the terror of absence of ego and the anarchy of the id as well as the overpowering judgments of the superego. We have a lack of empathy that excludes intimacy and dictates a lifetime of superficial living.
I would be grateful if you could respond.
What your author describes, I call autophobia—the fear of self. Unfortunately, fear of your own feelings and thoughts also makes you afraid of others and their response to you, so you’re trapped. To help overcome these problems, try my articles: “Resolving Inner Anarchy,” “Your Bestest Friend—You,” and “Turn on Your Charm.” You’ll also find my book, It Ends With You very helpful for this.