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Demons of a Depressed Woman

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Maybe the light bulb burning out as I sat down to write this should have told me something. Doesn’t matter; it’s on its way even if it’s crap.

I went to a memorial service today for a wonderful guy who was my next-door neighbor, Fred. It was held in a “Christian” church where the preacher wore an expensive suit and had a lot of gel in his nice gray hair. There was a little preaching and some nice comments made about Fred. A lot of Fred’s tenants were at the memorial, many of them in tears. Some of them stood and recounted examples of Fred’s kindnesses. They loved and respected him as a friend, not just a landlord.

Fred’s wife gave a lovely little talk about Fred and the early days of their marriage. His grandchildren spoke and made sweet comments. The last young lady to speak went on a “rant” about being worried about people were not accepting Jesus Christ as their personal savior. These people could die at any moment and they would be going straight to hell. She warned each and every one of us that we needed to do this “before it’s too late.” God said this! Uh huh.

I never have worried too much about heaven or hell. But if I’m hearing this correctly, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and various other folks who make up this planet will all be going to hell. The funny thing is that Fred and I talked after he got ill, and we sort of agreed that neither one of us was an absolutist when it comes to religion, faith, or heaven or hell beliefs. Fred had a devilish grin and said, “I guess we’ll find out when we get there.”

I’m not an atheist. I believe in God. I’m Christian, I guess, meaning I believe Jesus was the son of God. I think if the New Testament is true in anyway, Jesus was quite a guy. I like a lot of what he supposedly had to say. I think I missed the part about do this or you are going to hell. I pray and feel comfort sometimes in my faith in God. But frankly, God has never said a darned word to me.

I’ll miss my neighbor Fred.

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