For me, in order to connect to the mystery, signs, and synchronicities, I need to be in silence.
This connection occurs when I take a walk on the beach, listen to the sounds of the ocean, feel the sunshine, feel the immense power of the waves as well as the gentle tide by my feet, or listen to the birds chirping. It can happen when I watch a sunset, a sunrise, feel the wind, and the rain; or even when I look at the moon, when I am in the desert, or walking in a forest among the trees.
My first powerful connection I remember happened was when I lived in Los Angeles. I owned an international boutique in the late ’70s called Fiorucci, and had twenty people working for me. I received a lot of media exposure, and became busy with PR and marketing at that time. I was in my early ’30s, had been married for ten years, and birthed three children. We had a couple working for us to help with driving the kids, taking care of the big house, the cooking, and errands. As a result, I ran a busy, stressful life with great ego attached to it.
One Friday morning, I decided to go away for the weekend by myself. This has never happened before. With the top down on my little red 1962 Corvette, I drove to Santa Barbara. I checked into a small hotel called San Ysidro Ranch. (I heard JFK stayed there at one time.) My cozy cottage had a fireplace, a sitting room, and a comfortable bed. Cell phones didn’t exist at that time, but there was no TV and nature surrounded me.
In the morning I went on a hike to explore the land, found a small creek among the trees and sat down. I sat for a while. As the sun peeked through the tall trees and birds chirped, I saw a leaf falling from a tree into the stream and watched it flow down the stream until it disappeared. There were little flies there. I heard a frog making his funny noise. At that moment, I felt held, wrapped, and supported by something greater then myself. Awed by the beauty and the magic of this place, I felt this sacred moment! I felt God. As if something came over me, I got up and started running down the hill back to the ranch. I had to share what just happened! I met a young man who was taking care of the horses and I shouted, “I FOUND GOD!” He smiled, and I felt he knew what I was talking about.
Over the years, I have been told, “love yourself.” I did not quite know the meaning of that statement. I thought, I love myself. However, I was not really connected to my essence yet.
Then one day, I received a book as a gift, titled You can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay. Inscribed on the front page there was a dedication: “May this teacher help you discover the place inside of you where you connect to the part of you that recognizes your true worthiness, the place in you that is all love and self-acceptance.”
One of the chapters talks about how we are all part of the awesome creation, a miracle, and we are divine beings.
As I read, this concept resonated with me. If I looked at the world from above, from a higher perspective and watched myself in the world, I would understand that I am no different then the beautiful flower I admire, the powerful trees, and the rocks. I am no different then the ocean, the sun and moon, the animal world, Mother Earth, and Father Sky. I am creation, perfect just the way I am. Just like the trees don’t compare themselves, the rocks, the birds, and the cows. They are magnificent just the way they were created.
Wow, what a relief! I finally learned what it means to love myself; it is to be love. Love is to show up every moment, mindful and present as if it is the only moment, with gratitude, humbleness, and surrender.
I offer my story to you in the hope that it will open a small window where skepticism lives, to allow the awe, wonder, and mystery to unveil.
When you are in nature, ask what is in your heart. Ask for the answer and trust that the answer will come. It will come from the deep knowing that is part of you, part of the divine presence that resides in us all.