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Does Anyone Else Know How I Feel?

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I am a young woman, to most people. In reality, I have been abused. Sexual abuse is not okay. I like sex, it feels good, but I was never given a chance by someone who should have loved me and been there for me. I have been disrespectful to my body, to a point where people call me a slut all the time. That hurts, because it is true. I feel hopeless and lost … why? Because I’m trying to be sober. And being sober bites hard. I have played with fire, and now I’m burnt. Is there hope left for me? Who can I really turn to? Because I don’t know anymore. I thought I had it all figured out. Well, I don’t … all. I can be confident and sexy … but why? Because nice people have told me so, and I have used others as they have used me. It feels good to be real and hurt. Perhaps I need some motivation to realize that college is not for me right now—school, religion, and politics have been forced upon me when I really am a free spirit. No one has ever let this wild mustang run—and I mean RUN. I need to find what is inspiring to me, because I do not love my life, myself, or my choices. Can I change? I don’t know. I refuse to face the truth sometimes, and denial is not okay with me anymore. I may be sick and have a serious disease, but I have always felt judged. Someone please help me. 


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