In order to create a healthy relationship with yourself, you have to know you’re operating in safe territory. You can do this by establishing a set of rules of engagement to govern your self-interaction:
Forgive your imperfections—Rather than strive for perfection, commit to excellence. Accept who you are, embrace the life experience you’ve had, and reconcile yourself to both your strengths and weaknesses. Decide to make small improvements in your life and your person each day, and take satisfaction in your process of growth and mastery.
Be unconditionally constructive—Your internal dialogue, the way you speak to yourself, should be positive, affirming, and uplifting—even when you’re acknowledging a mistake you’ve made. Be clear with yourself about what needs to change, but don’t beat yourself up about the fact that you need to improve.
Be your own biggest cheerleader—Give yourself the gift of the confidence and support you need by being the most enthusiastic, nurturing, supportive person in your life. You will be amazed at the energy and excitement you’ll unleash within yourself.
Give credit where credit is due—When you commit to recognizing yourself for your accomplishments, you’ll find that you also get very good at recognizing others. Decide to give yourself this additional jolt of encouragement and acknowledgement. Your confidence will increase, and you’ll look forward to congratulating yourself each day.
One Thing to Think About
You can be your own biggest fan and supporter, or your own worst enemy. No one else’s actions can have the impact on your success that your own do, for good or ill. The position you choose to take is entirely up to you.
One Question to Answer
How well does your current self-interaction follow guidelines of these rules of engagement?
One Challenge to Take
Rate yourself on the following statements, with 1 being Not At All and 5 being Absolutely.
1. I accept my own imperfections, acknowledge that growth requires making mistakes and understand that progress is always incremental.
2. I am unconditionally supportive of myself. My self-talk is positive, affirming and uplifting. I acknowledge my own mistakes or shortcomings, but with a gentle and forgiving eye.
3. I am my own biggest cheerleader. I am enthusiastic about my goals and nurturing toward my needs and wants.
4. I give myself credit for my accomplishments. I do not belittle my own skills or achievements, and I graciously accept recognition for what I have done.