“Please Betty, help me. Take my Parkinson’s with you …” These were my words to Betty, one of our resident in our facility who was catching her last breath. How many times I’ve done this to our several residents who expired. I’m begging for their help, hoping for a miracle that I will be cured or at least regain my strength and stamina.
Seventeen years of Parkinson’s disease is no joke especially for a single mother like me. How I wish I could stop working but who will support my children. I have a seventeen year old son and a fifteen year old daughter. I was only thirty-seven when I got the disease and now I’m fifty-four. As day pass by it’s getting hard for me to perform my job. I’m having a severe dyskenesia which was the side effect of Sinemet for taking this for a long period of time especially
EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE for I have to fight the disease. I have to win the battle against Parkinson’s. I don’t want to end in a wheel chair totally out of reality. I want to maximize the years that I can still works. It’s hard, but I have no choice, for the future of my children.
I can feel my disease is progressing. My episode of freezing is more often and my dyskenesia is getting worst. I’m suffering. I am sweating when I have the symptoms. I’m catching my breath and I have difficulty talking. What make the symptoms worst is when I have close encounter to my employer. I don’t want her to see me in this condition where I can not even lift my feet to walk. My body is twisting and my legs and arms jerking. I want to hide my disease but this uncontrollable movement is getting worst e very day. And I’m afraid that my employer will fire me the moment she’ll see me in this condition. This is the worst thing that I’m afraid to happen.
I’m giving my best in my job. My goal is to make the residents happy. I don’t stop thinking of activities that are suited for their capabilities. I want them to enjoy their life and feel that life is still worthwhile even though you are sick. And to my boss, I want to prove her that I’m still important to the company. I’m here because the company needs me and not because my boss is sympathetic and pity me.
Everyday is a struggle and everyday I’m winning.
I’m giving me best in my job.