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Excerpt from Quantum Woman, Celestial Man

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“I think your ego is much stronger than the egos of all those you criticize. You want to have everything and you give nothing. Like all men.” I composed a number of epithets for you and boldly applied them; you laughed at me. I was constantly angry and sad, asking myself why I needed this relationship at all.
“I want to give you something lasting and eternal, and you strive for something ephemeral,” was his answer to my internal dialogue.
Then, for the first time, I saw a serious sparkle in your eyes.
Eternal. Ephemeral. What was it that you were looking for and wanted to give me? I thought that you were probably talking about the great difference in our ages, about a relationship that would likely endure, one that would mean more to you than an ordinary flirtation.
Eternal. Ephemeral. What did I want from you?
“Everything you say and think and that affects you will be important later, but that does not matter now. The same will happen with much that also lies before us.”
Your theory stifled me. What did it mean? Was I to live out my life inside of narrow boundaries, with no outlet, finally accepting them as the only possibility … in such moments I grew stronger, and my strength frightened me most of all. Then I know that I could not live inside of boundaries.
“Our ideas of freedom are completely different. You think that freedom is showing the world who and what you are, to walk the streets holding hands…. I am free everywhere, as much when I am confined by the narrowest boundaries as when I am unconfined. Either you are free, or you are not.
The pain that your attitude caused me then I still feel today, but now it is “important, but it doesn’t matter.”
“The world that surrounds us, that is accessible to our senses, is not the only reality. Thousands more worlds surround us. We require strength to comprehend them. Shared consciousness.”


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