I am not really like a lot of people. I mean, I am very honest—painfully so, most of the time—for me as much as someone else. I am also very transparent. There is not much that I hide. What you see is what you get. Black is black and white is white, and the only gray areas are those in the skies right before a good rain. Now I know if anyone is reading this they are saying get to the point … okay … here goes.
I am not ashamed to say that I have suffered from many days and nights of total loneliness. I have cried more tears over just wanting to have someone to talk to. I have a house full of people all the time but I am the loneliest person I know. Sometimes I just log on to Facebook in hopes that someone will want to talk to me. Sad, you say? Yes it is. I long for some kind of connection to someone else; Even if for only a moment. I have a deep-seated desire to just hear the voice of someone else other then my own or someone that isn’t asking for something. Just conversation. I don’t ask for love or even friendship, just someone to talk to from time to time. It doesn’t even have to make sense, just a conversation of one person conversing with another.
As I was thinking along these terms it hits me, “Linda, you feel alone,” (You see there I am talking to myself … haha) but you are never alone. God is always with you. He has always been there. Even when I didn’t realize it, he was there. I read the Bible and I don’t feel alone. It is as if someone is there speaking to me. I can spend hours in the Bible, and not even comprehend how long I was reading until daylight shines through my windows. I get lost in my conversation with God. It takes me to a different place and I lose all track of time and I love it. I find a place of peace and safety.
I remember as a kid, I had this wonderful great uncle, which would tell me some awesome stories. Oh, how I loved to sit at his feet and just take in every word and detail. How I would soak in every emotion that he would portray as he told it. I would watch his body language, the widening of his eyes as he told the story, his eyes would shine. The intensity of those moments was overwhelming. I would get lost in that space and time. For a singe moment, for just a little while I could be someone else in my mind, an escape from the life that I dreaded to return to.
I do the same with the Bible. I sit at God’s feet and I get lost, I laugh, I cry, and I question, why and what happens next. All with a childlike intensity. Like a child, I become a part of the story; a character in the “Tale of Life” the real one. So when loneliness creeps in, I grab my Bible. Why? Because it tells you that you are not alone. That God is with you. You can feel him with every turning page. Like Hebrews 13:5, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” That says so much when you feel lonely, I know. So often I have to search the scripture and find what I need and sometimes God just gives it to me, I open the Bible and it is right there in black, white, and red.
Matthew 28:20 says, “Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen” Proverbs 18:24 states, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” How I thank God for the one who sticks closer than a brother, because Friends, no matter how good you are to them, will let you down, hurt you and turn their backs on you, but God never will. He was there before your birth. Isaiah 44:24 says, “Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself.” And my favorite of all times, Isaiah 49:15–16, “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”
For me this has always spoke to my heart for I was adopted and never understood why a child could never know their real family or ever had to feel that loneliness that comes with not knowing who you really are. Or why nobody wanted you. But he says I am the righteousness of God, I am loved and I am free. He loved me so much that he gave his only begotten son for me. Yet, I say, I am lonely, oh God. But he tells me he will not leave me and he is with me. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
Even when you feel unloved by your husband, he covers that too. No I am not a true widow, but I am a spiritual widow. My husband does not serve the Lord and our marriage is strained to say the least, but God says in Isaiah 54:5, “For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.”
And of course we have to remember that he created us for himself. Colossians 1:16, “For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether [they be] thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him.” And Revelation 4:11, “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” God created you and me for him to keep him company as well. As he walked in the garden in the cool of the day with Adam, He longs to do the same with us. So we should never fear loneliness. It is a time to reflect on God’s word, His goodness and his grace. These are times to sit at his feet and listen intently to the stories from his heart; Stories of times past, times of the present and times to come. Get lost in the scripture, become a part of who they say you are, Find new direction and help for this time and times to come, ask questions and get excited about the story that you are hearing. You will be amazed at how fast you forget that you were ever lonely in the first place. God bless all.
Dear God, I come to this morning and I ask you that you help those who might be feeling only today. Those who feel that they have been forgotten or that nobody cares. God I pray that you will draw them to you with a love undeniable. Lord, let them know that you are for them, that you cherish them, that you want to spend time with them, each and every day. Oh Lord, gives each of us a desire to sit at your feet and just listen, to be quite before you and to with a childlike heart hear what you have to say for you are wisdom and knowledge and all the things that we need to be. Lord help those that may not understand why they are alone but let them realize though they may see no man that you are always there. Thank you Lord, for you are great and mighty and powerful. You are loving, kind, and compassionate. You are all we need. You fill the emptiness that fills us sometimes. And I give you all praise and honor forever from my heart, amen.