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Figuring Out Me

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I have always been the baby of the family. The youngest out of three. I have always had someone take care of me. Becoming an independent adult has been an interesting journey. Figuring out what cable and internet company to use. Getting groceries and cooking my own dinners. Keeping a clean house and getting all my laundry done. It’s been a big continual struggle to figure out the balance. I learned a lot when I left home and traveled 500 miles away to college. I now have an awesome live-in boyfriend who, without asking, has altered his work schedule to drop me off and pick me up from work. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to convince him that putting dirty dishes in the sink or putting his clothes in the hamper as a useful habit.

All in all, there isn’t a lot for me to complain about. I have it easier than many people do. I live rent-free in a house my parents own. I live pretty much on my own (besides my boyfriend) unless they come back to the city for family events. It’s still easy for me to fall back on having my mom clean the house, do the laundry, and stock the kitchen when she comes home. I have a full-time job that pays fairly well.

I wonder when I’ll figure out how to run a smooth and clean household. Or when I’ll be able to keep my room neat and organized. Or when I’ll be able to call the cable company on my own to demand a better rate. (I still have my boyfriend do this one for me.) I wonder when I’ll have the guts to ask for recommendation letters to actually apply to enter the masters program for accounting. I wonder when I’ll be able to successfully implement a savings plan to someday put a down payment on a house or finance a wedding or maybe just buy a car.

I just wonder when it is that I’ll be able to actually feel like a full-fledged adult.


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