Finding Happiness

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Lately, I have been having strange dreams and they are all based on failure. I took time to analyze my life and realized that in everything I try to do in life, I fail: relationships, school, career changes, even change of lifestyle. I always feel unhappy and depressed in my life. It got to a point were I had imaginary relationships with men to feel like I was loved or at least doing something in my life. It seems the more people died that were close to me, the worst it gets. Now its done got so bad that I don’t cook or clean my house. It’s stating to affect my relationship my kids and my boyfriend for the last five years. I run to the casino to get away from the unhappiness in my life but it tears me down even more because I find myself in bad situations that could have been prevented. It’s to a point where all I do is sleep and wonder will if I will ever find peace and happiness and success in my life. I guess at times when I am happy the devil finds other people’s misery and bring it to me. I have this girl who, every time something is going on in her life, starts confessing to me. I do everything in my power to overlook her and when she’s not getting to me she goes to other people and try to turn them against. I am just so fed up. I try to find peace and love within me so that things around me might change.

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