Forever Mine

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The cold January wind whipped around the side entrance of the church as I locked the backdoor. A chill ran up my spine as I reached to pull my scarf closer around my neck. The presence of God had been mighty in tonight’s service. The Holy Spirit had me pray for a lady in the back row who was suffering from severe back pain. Her heart was broken from being raped and molested and all that kind of stuff. I felt the physical pain and the emotional distress.

I hurried across the vacant lot and entered in the warmth of our home, a home where there was peace and love. My wife, the love of my life, greeted me with a smile that always warmed my heart.

“How about snacking on some of the fish we have left from dinner?” she asked as she gave me a kiss.

“Go girl, it sounds good to me,” I said as I took off my coat. The howling of the wind could be heard. I headed for the bedroom the get into my pajamas. Kimberly had already changed.

By the time I had changed and flipped on the TV, my baby girl was bringing our snack into the living room. The food was good, but the few minutes we had to ourselves was what made the day worth all the effort it took to meet so many needs.

I gently massaged her tiny little feet and watched her relax. Then I laid my head on her lap. As she tenderly rubbed my back, I felt the warmth of her love fill my heart. As she continued to rub she found a small bump and then a knot along my spine. She cleansed and busted it for me. It was just a simple thing. I wasn’t nervous about it when I went to bed.

In the early morning hours, I turned over to crawl out of bed. My legs were stiff. “Oh, God!” All of a sudden my mind flashed back to another time when I had been forced to crawl out of bed. I closed my eyes and prayed. Satan was on the attack again.

In 1992, on New Year’s night, I had gotten my back broke while working on a construction job. The cartilage was busted and pushed in on my spine. From my waist down, I would go numb every time I would straighten up.

They had to do spinal taps and MRIs. They placed me in that old casket thing and they took pictures.

“Man, listen, don’t move! We need to get you put in the hospital right now. If we don’t you might never walk again. There’s only a 50 percent chance you’ll be able to walk even with surgery. You won’t make it like this; you’ll have to be in a wheelchair,” the doctors said. The cartilage had busted and was pushing in on my spine to where it cut off the feeling to the lower part of my body.

All of this past stuff, all at one time, came back to my mind. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I began to cry as I had never cried before in front of my wife. I don’t usually cry unless it’s a happy cry.

All of a sudden, those feelings of being totally by myself, totally alone in my suffering came back. I had called on God and it felt like there wasn’t anybody there to answer me and there was nothing but the darkness that filled the whole room. I remembered feeling I was out in the world and it looked like I was all by myself.

I had laid in the bed for a whole year. I had been helpless and those whom I thought would be there for me were long gone.

I had cried, “God, I can’t do nothing!” I was numb from the waist down. I was catching Hell from every direction, Job’s comforters. There was no money, no groceries, and the little children couldn’t do anything. It was me by myself.

I would walk bent over, with this big knot raised in my back, to go where I had to go. I was in the doctor’s office every week. They had me taking 2000mg of Ibuprofen with Codeine three to five times a day. Then they gave me another little pill, the size of a match head, that caused me to hallucinate. I stayed high most of the day.

I slept whenever I could get comfortable. I had to sleep with a big pillow underneath my legs with them bowed. I had to have a deal under all of that to keep my back level so I wouldn’t move. When I moved, it would hurt so bad my toenails vibrated so bad from the pain that they felt like they were going to fall off.

I couldn’t walk up and set down on the bed. I had to crawl to the bed and crawl up the side of it very slowly. In the bed, out of the bed, from the living room to the bathroom, I had to crawl on my hands and knees because when I straightened up, everything from my waist down went numb. My blood pressure stayed at 210/115; the pain was just that bad. I lost a lot of weight because I didn’t want to eat. If I ate, it meant I had to go to the bathroom. I didn’t want to go to the bathroom because it meant I had to strain to go, and it just hurt too bad. My stomach, my back, anything that moved inside or outside caused me pain. I was such an excruciating pain that when it would hit me I would shake all over. If I took a deep breath, it hurt. If I turned my head, it hurt. So I had problems. The devil tried to kill me.

I remember the day I said these words: “Where am I? What do I do now? Where do I go from here?” I cried out to the Lord, I promise You, I will preach the Gospel. You heal me and I won’t back up one ounce, not one minute.”

You know what God said? He told me to get out of bed and go to church and praise Him. I crawled out of that bed even though I couldn’t straighten up. I couldn’t stand up all the way because the knot on my back would make my legs collapse. I got in my old rickety Ford pick-up truck and drove down a rocky road for about thirty miles, bouncing up and down.

Can you imagine the pain? Can you imagine everything not working? I didn’t know if my feet were on the brakes or the accelerator. I had just grabbed and started pushing things. I said, “God, I’m going ’cause You told me to.”

I dragged myself into the church with that big knot in my back. I had walked straight to the front. I wasn’t going to sit in the back!

The Pastor told me that God was going to give us miracles that night. He didn’t lay his hands on me; nobody laid their hands on me to pray. But all of a sudden, I felt a fire and felt a warm like liquid oil go down my back and I was able to raise up straight. Hallelujah! The feeling came back in my legs and feet and I got out on the floor and started cutting a jig. I started dancing and praising God!

The people started saying, “Brother Ron, should you be doing that?”

I started shouting, “God has just healed me!”

The voice that came into my room that night came into my room again, just like He had so long ago. I got up out of bed and went into the living room and got on my knees. Lord, I’ve been here a lot of times, a lot of times. I’m here and I’m justified in Jesus Christ.”

We are to do the works that He does. He said, “Heal the sock, raise the dead, and cast out the devil.” Satan had attacked because of the prayers offered up for the woman with the back pain in the church service last night. Satan would never win. God was the winner! And I was on the winning side!

I got up off of my knees and said, “Wait a minute, I’m not going to stay here!” The stiffness left.

I walked into the bedroom where my lovely little wife was praying. “Lord, you’ve blessed me with somebody that’ll be here with me and love me.” When I realized I wasn’t by myself in the natural anymore, a strength came over me. God had always been there but now I also had the cherished love of my darling wife.


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