Ok, this situation isn’t about me! It’s about my really good friend who just met this new guy about eight months ago at work. She was married at the time and kept telling me that she thought that he was so hot and what not! We come to find out that this guy has been in and out of prison all his life. He’s a felon because of man-slaughter and a number of other things! I was very uneasy about this whole thing from the get go.
About three weeks after meeting him all the co-workers from the company went out for drinks after work and they were there together. I guess everything was going well, because after everyone was leaving they still stayed outside by their vehicles and talked … until he jumped her and was trying to rape her in her own back seat. He wouldn’t stop until one of the bartenders came outside and saw what was going on and yelled at them and he jumped off and stopped then.
So my friend and her husband’s relationship was already on the rocks and it was pretty much over so she kicked him out and filed the papers while still going to work and talking to this felon the whole time. So as you guessed they started dating almost immediately. I wanted to get to know this guy better so I invited them over for a drink and movie. I guess it was going ok … but our other mutual friend who was there also, we both got a very uneasy feeling about him. Like he was full of poo and just telling her stories to build himself up! Gag. We didn’t like him and everyone that met him felt the same way except our friend that was dating him.
Then he moved in with her within the first week of dating. Because his ex girlfriend kicked him out because he found someone else! And all seemed peachy!
About five months into the relationship, she wanted to have his baby and so she got knocked up, and they were excited about it! He was calling all his family and telling them the great news. I didn’t agree but she is my friend and I’m going to be there for her anytime that she needs me! And now was a time.
Then he tried to control her in every aspect. If she was late coming home then she was cheating on him. She was spending too much money on food because she wanted fresh veggies to eat to healthy for the baby and he was trying to get her to eat top ramen and rice everyday. Ya right that didn’t fly!! That’s when I got the call that she didn’t want to be with him anymore and if she wasn’t caring his child she would be gone but she felt that the baby needed it’s dad. So she stayed.
Three months past and she was just getting out of her first trimester, until they got into an argument about his dog peeing in the house or something. My friend was trying to be really nasty to him to make him leave and the plan backfired BIG TIME!! He ended up beating her so bad that she miscarried and had to spend all day in the hospital and he didn’t even take off work to go and be with her!! I didn’t find any of this out until about a week later and I was so angry! I spent over an hour on the phone with her that night but she want to stay with him because I guess he’s the only one who understands what she’s going through! CRAP! That’s what I think! So she’s afraid of him and in love with him, that’s what she keeps telling me! She didn’t press any charges, she thinks this would’ve never happened if she didn’t push him that far—and on a side note: If he gets arrested again he goes to prison for life because of his record!
But I don’t know what I can do to help her see that this isn’t ok! I need help from someone that knows these situations better! I’ve seen my drunken uncles beating others but that’s it! Is there anything that I can do to make this a-hole go away forever? Please help me!!!