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He Touched Me

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From the time I was a child, I have been complimented on my singing. Once Sunday, about a month ago, I was asked to sing a hymn after the pastor’s sermon. Normally, I don’t take my son to church, but this Sunday, I wasn’t coming home directly after church, so I made him come with me.

I was late for practice (we practice before the service), so I told him to go into the Sunday School class. For some reason, my son chose to remain outside and played with the assistant pastor’s kindergarten son. I was nervous about my upcoming solo and didn’t focus on the fact that he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. After the sermon, I grabbed the microphone and sang, “He Touched Me.” I noticed that my son walked in and sat down at the back of the church. I smiled to myself because I thought he was coming to hear me sing.

Later while everyone was congratulating me, my son told me that the Assistant Pastor wanted to talk to me. I followed him into the sound room where the Assistant Pastor and his son were waiting. The little boy excused himself and waiting outside. The pastor asked my son to shut the door. That’s when the pastor informed me that while I was singing, he had discovered my son molesting his son behind a building. Of course my son denied it, but I knew that it was true. The pastor told my son to sit in the building until my solo was completed.

I can’t tell you how sick you feel when you find out that your child has victimized another child. I love the little boys’ mother, but I am so ashamed that I cannot look at her. I feel sick, depressed, and have panic attacks every time I think of what my son did. Although I have apologized for his actions, I know that it is not good enough. Someone innocent was violated.

So, I took him to a counselor, which triggered a visit from a social worker. He’s in counseling. He’s still my son, but I am so heartbroken. I had to give up my church, my friends and I am still very ashamed. I’ll get over it in time. I pray that the little boy will be fine and grow into a wonderful young man.

Tell me … what do you do when you find out that your child has done something like this? Something other than crying and becoming a recluse.

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