“Expectations are premeditated resentment.”—Anonymous
Throughout our lives, we create expectations, from our first kiss to our first bike ride. Even our first job and our first steps into the world outside of our parents’ home, everything we do has an expectation attached to it.
Why do we expect so much? Where did this come from? And is it human nature or were we taught to build up these expectations?
Whether our expectations are high or low, having them will do nothing more than hold us back. When we expect a certain outcome, we are giving ourselves a fifty-fifty chance that those expectations will be met.
That leaves a lot of room for disappointment. Each time we step into a situation with a set idea of how we want it to go or what outcome we would like to have, we are setting ourselves up for resentment.
If we expect our friends and family just to listen and they give us their suggestions, we are let down and feel resentful towards them and their unsolicited advice.
When we make plans wrapped in expectations, the disheartening let down when things don’t go as intended can cause a backlash of resentment towards ourselves and our loved ones involved. In the end, we miss out on the great times had because they were not as we expected them to be.
Instead, if we were to hope for what we would like to happen rather than expect it to be, we would more likely get what we want and take away something positive from the experience.
Having hope gives us room to hear and see what is possible. By giving ourselves flexible boundaries, we allow ourselves to find joy in the unexpected. We are able to see the value in what we were given, though it may not be as we’d planned. From this, we can continue to hope and learn from the unexpected.