“We part at the crossroads,
You leave with your joys and problems,
I with mine. Alone, I look down the road.
Each one must walk one’s own path.”—Deng Mind Dao
When I was a bit younger, I had a problem with being overly-enchanted with my own ideas. By this I mean that most of the time I thought I knew what was best for everyone else. I am sure that most of my friends and family found me more than a bit of a pain in the backside.
As it turns out life has been a great teacher for me and has humbled me where I need to be released from such hubris. Now I freely acknowledge that more than nine times out of ten, I really don’t know what is best for someone else. I have learned to trust that people have their own Divine wisdom, sometimes lying latent, within themselves. As a life coach, my job is to remind people of their Divine wisdom and help them bring that forward. My job it is not to give advice, judge or tell people what to do; my job is to hold a non-judgmental sacred space for Divine clarity to arise.
Certainly, if we have some information that would be helpful to a situation, we can offer that to others. For instance, if someone needs a business plan, a map of Maui, or a doctor’s referral, we can offer that. Honoring other’s nature is not about withholding helpful or key information. We can always offer something to another in a way that allows the receiver to be at choice with it. They may choose to discard our offering and they may choose to go another route. If we have liberated ourselves from control, judgment, and attachment, we will sit comfortably with our sister’s choice.
Maybe our friend feels like she should be attracted to the Harvard law professor with the multi-million dollar investment portfolio but she is in love with the free spirit with nipple rings and facial tattoos. If we honor her nature, we will support her individualistic pursuit of happiness and her unique life trajectory.
Many of us find ourselves caught up in anger about our ex-husband’s wife or our mother’s political choices. Maybe our ex’s new wife is just right for him (and maybe even for us, too). Maybe we can release both of them and embrace the Divinity inherent in that liaison. When we are mentally spinning with anger or frustration over the very nature of others, we expend energy that we might be using to enhance our lives.
Gibran Khalil wrote, “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” Similarly, we do not belong to each other. Rather than take offense at the behavior and nature of others, we may decided to let them be who they are and release them from our ideas about whom and what they should be. When we do this we give ourselves permission to embrace our very own life path as well.