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How Quitting My Job Lead Me to Leading an Authentic, Peaceful Life

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I am a mother of four grown wonderful children, a nurse and a writer, among other things. I recently became unemployed by choice, the boldest decision I have ever made. The day I made the decision is like a birthday to me.
I was working for a small corporate hospital and was so miserable. Instead of being oriented when I started the job, it felt more like an indoctrination. I had been off four months prior to starting due to a severe car accident. I didn’t have any savings, no husband or parents to support me, just me. That afternoon while getting ready for a night shift I felt heavy, tired, really tired and so sad. It was like the lights went out in my life. I honestly wished I could die so I wouldn’t have to go.
When the time came to leave-I didn’t. I spent the next two weeks holed up in my apartment desperately trying to figure things out. Why had I quit? Why was I not like everyone else that could keep a job? What was I going to do for money? What would my children think? What kept me sane was peace. Peace and quiet inside me, a peace and quiet so sweet, so pure I knew it was real.

I knew anything that felt this right most certainly had to be. Every day, I felt like “Wow, is this what happiness feels like?” Joy was such a foreign feeling to me. I had to fight the urge to ruminate through my past and compare this happiness with other times of sadness. I am still in the process of allowing more positive feelings to become a part of my life for good. I vowed to not let the life lessons of the past be wasted and to honor and love the person I was when I made wrong choices and mistakes. 

I have since found temp work that I can do as much or as little as I want. Though I haven’t mastered the art of really living an authentic life, I do know I’m at least on the right path. I used to view life as a destination. I wouldn’t allow happiness until I achieved X,Y or Z. I’m learning instead to set goals of my choosing and enjoying the journey, my journey—this one precious and wild life.


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