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I Believe

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I truly thought by the time I reached my mid years, I would have reached a point where I would truly be comfortable in my own skin and have my act totally together … But, it hasn’t happened.

I thought by middle age and surely my freedom years, I would have stored enough great wisdoms from spiritual sources, life changing experiences, and the profound teachings of others within my spirit, and I would stop searching … But, it hasn’t happened …


My most precious wish was that, by now, I would have settled down with a wonderful companion, compatible soul mate, and loving husband … But, it hasn’t happened …

I thought that by middle age all the baggage from my painful childhood—physical and emotional abuse—would be strictly in the past. Forgiven, forgotten, no more night terrors or nightmares … But, it hasn’t happened …

I thought by this age I would have figured out all the ins and outs of keeping myself from giving too much, feeling too much … But, it hasn’t happened …

I thought by middle age, my life would be free of drama, chaos, friction, turmoil, and stress. But, it hasn’t happened …

I thought by this time in my life I would have found my own personal niche, found a comfortable place where I truly felt without a shade of doubt that I truly belonged. But, it hasn’t happened …

I thought by now I would have stopped constantly seeking the face of God, because I felt His presence sooooo strongly in my daily life. But, it hasn’t happened …

One would think by now I would have given up hope of finding inner peace and serenity. But, it hasn’t happened …

One would think by now I would have given up on myself because of all the horrible mistakes I have made in my life. But, it hasn’t happened …

One would think by now I would have given up on my dreams, aspirations, and goals for a bright happy future … But, it hasn’t happened …




One would think by now with all the acute illnesses and physical handicaps I have struggled with through the last few years, I would give up praying for good health and well-being. But, It hasn’t happened …

One would think by the many times my heart has been shattered and left abandoned in a saddened heap to grieve, I would give up on friendship and love. But, it hasn’t happened …



One would think that by now I would have given up calling on God to forgive me, to heal me, to give me grace, and to make me whole … But, it hasn’t happened …

One would think that I would have given up on thinking that life is bountiful, wonderful, magical, delightful, and pleasurable … But, it hasn’t happened …


It hasn’t happened …


It hasn’t happened …


But, I believe …

I believe …

I will always believe …

My hope is that you will always believe, as well …


By Mindy Farr

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