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I Give Up

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I give up, I don’t sleep well anymore, I am tired. My skin has broken out from stress and I think my stomach is in a mess too because of stress. I have tried everything, I have prayed, begged, pleaded, I have gone down on my knees begging God for help for ten years now.

And nothing, things just get worst. I am done. I am done with God. That might sound crazy, things might not get better but at least I wont’ have the guilt of being angry with God. I won’t have to blame him every time which is all the time something goes wrong.

I have given up on God. I am crying while I write this, but I can’t take anymore. No father who loves his daughter would do this for ten years. It’s too much, I am human, not superhuman. Like everyone else who is alive, I am not perfect. But I am not a bad person. I don’t deserve this punishment. I don’t.

The mental torture I go through everyday is too much to handle. I am done. No more. Too much. God stopped listening to me a long time ago. So he won’t be surprised. I am done with God. I can’t let people keep hurting me. I just can’t. That includes God.

I am done. No more. No more begging, and pleading, and crying. No more. I am done.

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