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I Wonder What You’re Doing

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I wonder what you’re doing, my oldest child of mine.
Are you watching over me from the heavens above?

Why is it that I miss you so?
When I know your all around?
Is it the physical touch I miss?
Your sweet, kind voice?
Your loving hugs and kisses or
the wondering text messages,
“Are you on your way home, Mom?”

I believe it’s all the above my dear
That is why I miss you so.
I can never replace you and all you’ve
taught me, so I must try to move 
forward even though I don’t want to.
I would prefer to go backward to 
when you were here with me. 

We worked so hard to get you to the 
the time when you would leave.
Leave to begin your independence,
not leave Dad and me.
To heaven above you have gone to
continue your good work. To me
you were an Angel here on earth.
Why did you have to leave?
Isn’t there more for you to do?
But from above us all, you can 
reach more of those in need. I 
guess we are so lucky to have
you watching over us indeed.

So I guess I need to just accept the 
fact that I will not see you anymore.
I will just feel you all around me and
watch for all yours signs.
The tears will still be coming at times.
When memories are stirred or when I 
see things you could of had or done.
They will not last as long as they did
when you first had to leave.

I will be able to smile at times,
when I think of you. Especially 
when certain life events happen
and I say, “What would Nicole do?”
I will love you always and forever 
and always miss you too. But, I can
also be happy knowing you are 
watching over me too.

 

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