As wise women, we are pretty darn good at nurturing, teaching, sharing knowledge, and fulfilling the needs of everyone around us. Unfortunately, we often forget about ourselves. For some reason, women inherently put themselves last, and sometimes they’re not on the list at all.
In an effort to gain more information about this, I took a survey of the women in my business networking groups, various social groups, and personal friends between the ages of forty-five and fifty-five. The conclusion is that we’re just not having a lot of fun. In fact, when I asked many of these women what they had done for fun in the last week, I was met in most cases with a blank stare. It was like they had forgotten what the word even meant.
I wondered why women aren’t making time for more fun, and what I discovered is that most women are too tired after the kids, car pools, meals, laundry, husband time, and work. Okay, but why don’t we make some time for fun? Why are we so willing to give that up? Why don’t we pencil out a block of time on our calendars to do something we enjoy? I think it’s because women in general put themselves last.
I truly enjoy having fun with my husband, kids, and family, but I do yearn for alone time—time to relax, kick my heels up, and take care of me. I make excuses to myself why I don’t do those things, and then I beat myself up for it later.
What might happen if we started to put ourselves first? Just think how much your attitude would change toward your family if you gave yourself a little time to relax, rejuvenate, and revive.
So, what does “more fun” look like? I think it’s easier to start by saying what it doesn’t look like. It’s not about work-related events, business luncheons with a speaker you’re expected to learn something from, or business networking groups. Nope, it’s not the exercise club either because we’re trying to socialize between sit-ups that we don’t enjoy doing to begin with. Fun is also not happening at the kids’ sporting events or recitals.
Fun is having a 2–3 hour lunch with your best girlfriends. Fun is spending the afternoon shopping for something just for you and not feeling guilty about it. Fun is taking a weekend for yourself—away from home, work, and kids—with your husband or your girlfriends. Fun is going golfing or playing tennis with your pals. Fun is taking a book you are always intending to read with you to a cafe and enjoying a couple of hours of coffee and quiet. Fun is spending the afternoon pampering yourself at a spa de-stressing, getting the calluses off your feet, and enjoying all sorts of other self-indulgent services.