The last several weeks of my life have been consumed by a bittersweet symphony of situations. Highs, lows, ebbs and flows.A masterful palette of events have caused me to question our moments shared in this world.
A dear friend lost her husband – all too soon. My Grandmother, suffering from Alzheimers and dementia, moved to a true nursing home facility and away from all she has known. My uncle suffered a nearly fatal series of health situations. One of my best friends shared of her newfound pregnancy. My sister continues in a growing and glowing relationship with a young man of whom I adore and care for. Another best friend and her lovely fiancé have included me in her upcoming wedding and we will be celebrating their love within days.
As I walk the calm streets of my neighborhood, lined with oak, elm and sycamore trees, I notice the prismatic colors of the leaves and the gentle crunch of the early Fall under my feet. I hear children laughing, and neighbors passing leisurely conversation.
While many ponder their direction in life, conversely; I ponder how to travel in multiple directions at one time. I always have. I've never been one to keep steady on one path; perhaps to my detriment. I recall sitting in my Art class as a young girl, where my teacher called me out in front of everyone for coloring outside of the lines. Little did she know; I meant to craft my piece in such a way.
I've found myself saying mini-prayers to Saint Christopher and trying to squeeze in quarter-rosaries when I have a spare moment. I understand that people turn to their faith in times of need, but mine seems as though it is more of a life topography session, than anything.
I so badly want the changing leaves, new babies, weddings and promotions, to trump the grieving, fear of the unknown and wariness, of the world.
Given that we are only human and cannot control the universe, this seems like a fairly simplistic concept. Minor glitch; the concept of emotion. Emotion is why we question our daily routine, why we cannot hold in a laugh in moments caught off-guard, and why we gasp when we hear devastating news.
I'm reminded of the book and movie; "Great Expectations;" and Pip's personal development throughout the storyline. These two words in the title – "great" + "expectations", are precisely why leaves of change offer our questioning of life's trials and tribulations. Depending up on how we are raised and the cards that we are dealt in life, largely predicates how we will react to situational encounters. Charles Dickens likely directed Pip's responses to his life's journey based on his upbringing and need for survival.
As I look ahead to my Outlook calendar (nearly booked solid for the next four months), I see an plethora of events which will be consumed by lunch appointments and evening affairs: client meetings, philanthropic gala's, baby shower's, an 80th birthday party, holiday event, wedding reception…
Notice, none of these scheduled "appointments" are drab affairs, or events in which we all are sour to attend (funerals, wakes, hospital visits, nursing home transitions, etc.). We cannot plan for the moments which are untimely and cause us sorrow. These moments are the leaves of change which – although bitter (at best) – offer us personal growth and a chance for a new beginning. If embraced with heart; these moments of vibrant color and rebirth may be our best opportunity to allow for the greatest of expectations.
