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Let Life Happen

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The rain pours as the thoughts pour out of my head. So many things to decide, so many things to do, which way do I turn? Here recently, my life has yet again taken another direction. Maybe it’s not other direction, maybe it’s just a new door. A new chapter. That’s what they say isn’t it? When one door closes, another one is open. Why do I have so many open so it seems? Are some of them the wrong paths just in disguise as the perfect opportunity? I get so overwhelmed sometimes. I have to step back with tears in my eyes and take a deep breath. Who am I? I ask. What do I want? Doors, doors are everywhere. Turn the knob slowly. No….No…. Don’t take that one. What if it’s wrong? Walk to the next door. Press my ear against the imaginary wood. Can you hear anything? Someone…something…inviting you to twist the knob. No…..No….Don’t take that one. I grab my head…..the thoughts…..the pain….I spin in circles and sink to the floor. Fear grasps hold of my being and sucks the life out of me. I lay helpless on the clouds…floating….wondering…hoping…..that I take the right path. Where does God want me? I cry out to him…….to her….Father God…..Mother God….where do you want me? The silence around me is overwhelming…slowly the doors open as if teasing me with what’s inside. The creaking sound is piercing to my ears…then out of nowhere they slam shut. Silence overtakes me again. I stand up…I breathe like it’s my first breathe of life and realize….I’m reading the map….I’m directing….I’m driving. I slowly let go of the wheel in my mind, my soul, my heart and let a higher power take over. Let life happen…those words fill my body….Let Life Happen…I begin to fall through the clouds slowly then quickly then I fall back into my own body forcefully. I sit up and see this was all a dream. I remind myself to go through each day as it comes to me and as though it is my last. I let go of the wheel and walk to the back. It’s not my turn to drive.


 

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