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Life Lessons

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elizabeth: Negativity begets thoughts of bungee jumping without a cord. Hanging out with a negative friend or family member can be difficult (especially if they become attached to your skirt hem) and is guaranteed to suck the good life out of you. So for your sake, sever the negative sappers out of your life, or at best reduce the number of times you allow yourself to be dragged through their self-imposed misery. Your well-being depends on it. You will thank us when the sound of wailing starts to leave your consciousness. In its place could be the gentle lapping of an ebb tide or one of Al Green’s hip moving songs before he found religion.

Laurie: Start scaring yourself. No, you don’t have to look in the mirror first thing every morning. But whenever you hear the pitter patter of fear and doubt rattling around in your mind, you know you’re being called to action. You can continue to shake, rattle and roll over when faced with a difficult or new task. Or you can take the proverbial bull (s**t) by the horns and realize that you are being given a unique opportunity to grow. And you won’t even have to buy new clothes.

elizabeth: Stop acting your age. And start acting up. Your mother is not lurking about, and if she is, there are problems beyond our control going on here. Didn’t she and your father say that things would get easier when you grew up? Didn’t they move to Florida so they wouldn’t be around when you woke up to the fact that being a grown up 24/7 is not what it’s cracked to be? That permanent stressed-out expression on your face is not all that becoming, and stress has been known to hold onto its misunderstood friend – extra weight! So listen to your new mother and move away from the computer, drop that blackberry and give back that big fat bonus and do whatever feels good and is legal. Go fly a kite. And sleep under the stars with a half a gallon of double fudge ice cream. Just buy the quart size. Sometimes we just can’t blame stress for our muffin tops.

Laurie: Laugh. And if the main source of entertainment happens to be yourself, then good for you. The journey is yours and yours alone; no one else will walk the particular path that you do. How you walk it is up to you. Straight down the middle with mud-laden boots will get you there unless you die of boredom along the way. Barefoot in the grass, elevated on stilts, cart wheeling, and stopping to smell the roses will get you there too. Not as quickly but who cares? You’ll be having an adventure the entire trip!


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