We started dating our senior year of high school and we were together for thirty-three years one month prior to him passing away. He had leukemia and the pills he was taking stopped working after a year and a half, so the specialist said his best chance was to have a stem-cell transplant. This news hit us like a ton of bricks, but we were so optimistic and his little sister was a perfect match and everything seemed to go just as planned. July 31 would have been the one-hundred-day mark where things would start getting better, but he contracted pneumonia and passed away July 18, after being put on life support two days earlier.
It is so shocking that on Friday I was trying get caught up on everything because I was the caregiver and I was working also, but Thursday night was a normal night and Friday night before midnight he was on life support and never regained consciousness. I did not tell him I loved him before I left him at the hospital Friday night because he was having such a hard time breathing and they were working on him and I could not watch it anymore so I left the hospital. His sister was with him, but I left. I bailed on him and never go a chance to say I love you. But this I will have to live with and it is really minor compared to how I feel about everything now. I am completely lost. I have a great circle of friends and great family but I am still lost. I hope expressing this will help me to start healing.