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Make Your Dreams Come True

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As a motivational speaker and empowerment coach people often email me and ask: How do I turn my dreams into reality? This question is usually followed by the reasons why they can't fulfill their dreams, which often includes the responsibilities they must deal with on a daily basis, or hardships and challenges they face, or obstacles that are blocking them. Many people who contact me do have serious issues and challenges that they must deal with and I never downplay what they are going through whether it's dealing with kids as a single parent, overcoming a serious illness or injury, losing one's job or home, overcoming some form of addiction, being released from prison, losing a parent or child, suffering through a divorce, leaving an abusive relationship, battling to lose weight, and much more. These are all valid issues, however, none of them should be used as excuses to stop anyone from fulfilling their dreams and goals.

To help people begin the journey to turn their dreams into reality, here are a few tips and a starting plan to obtain the life and career your want and you deserve.

1) Stop Blaming Others

Stop blaming others for why you cannot fulfill your dreams. Whatever has happened to you, or whatever you're going through now, you have to learn how to cope with it. Stop blaming your parents, your children, your spouse, your co-workers, society, your pastor, the President of the United States, your siblings, your friends, and God. Stop whining about the life you want. Of course, it's easier to blame others because then you can take the responsibility off yourself for the poor choices you've made in life. Now you need to own up to those mistakes and then work on making the changes necessary to be 100% responsibility for your life, your dreams.
Now is the time to state – I refuse to let my past dictate my future. I choose to take 100% responsibility for my own actions and the decisions and choices I've made. I will be accountable for my life.

2) Look At Challenges As A Blessing

If you want to turn your dream into reality, no matter what it is, it will take hard work, discipline, focus, determination, passion, and most of all sacrifice. First of all, if you're not willing to put in the time and hard work necessary, stop reading and resume the life you are currently living.
When you look at the challenges you're faced with you can actually learn a great deal. What looks like something horrible can turn out to be a blessing. For example, if you lost your job this may be the perfect time to start that new business you've always wanted. Or you may be able to get a grant to go back to school and start a new journey, something you've always wanted to do.

A woman, Sandra, emailed me to say her husband came home one day, told her he loved another woman at his office, and he wanted a divorce. Sandra said at first she wanted to kill her husband for cheating and then leaving her without any warning. But after a few months of self-pity and drowning her sorrows eating ice cream and Rum milkshakes, she started looking at her challenge differently. Not only did Sandra realize that her marriage had been over long before her husband left, but now she was able to start working on herself. She had always wanted to be a chef and open her own restaurant. However, while she was married she couldn't because her husband didn't believe in her skills, nor did he ever support her dream. Although, Sandra had won several cooking contests and had been featured in many magazines, her husband didn't take her dream seriously.
Today, Sandra has her own restaurant, which is doing very well. She is also dating a new man, who she says, 'treats her like a queen.'

Take the time to sit down and reflect on the challenges in your life. Look at how something that seems terrible can actually help you transform to greatness and success.

“When you reach an obstacle, turn it into an opportunity. You have the choice. You can overcome and be a winner, or you can allow it to overcome you and be a loser. The choice is yours and yours alone. Refuse to throw in the towel. Go that extra mile that failures refuse to travel. It is far better to be exhausted from success than to be rested from failure.” – Mary Kay Ash

3) Have A Plan of Action

If you want to turn your dreams into reality you will need a plan of action. You can't just wish you were a multi-millionaire, or a champion athlete, or a recording artist, or a fantastic actor, or a college graduate, or that you've lost 50 pounds. Sitting around daydreaming won't do the trick. You need to take the time to sit down and really think through what your dream is and the steps you will need to make it come true. Write it out, examine the list. Discuss the details with someone who you trust so he or she can give your honest and realistic feedback.

4) Be Reasonable

Be reasonable and honest with yourself. If your dream is to go to the Olympics for swimming and you are 50 years old or you want to play in the NBA but you're 5'0", or you want to become a pilot, but you're color blind, then you know you are just dreaming. Your dream has to reflect what is realistic. Don't waste your time and energy on dreams that are unachievable. You may have to do some adjusting. If you are 5'0" and can't play in the NBA you may be able to do the work that's necessary so you can one day become a NBA referee or a coach.

5) Watch The Company You Keep

Oprah said, "Surround yourself with only people who will lift you higher."

Always be mindful of the company you keep. If you are working to get fit and healthy do not hang around people (including family, friends or co-workers) who want to eat unhealthy or hang out at clubs and bars where you'll drink alcoholic beverages all night. Surround yourself with people who understand how good nutrition, stress reduction techniques, adequate sleep, and exercise will help you reach your wellness and fitness goals. Get a fitness buddy or join a group for support. If you're going back to college and you discipline yourself to have study time each night after work, don't hang with people who don't value education or respect what you're working to accomplish. Get with those people who want to be in a study group with you. If you are working through an addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, food, etc.) instead of hanging around those people who will tempt you to do wrong, go to therapy, meetings or get involved with organizations that help recovering addicts.

The company you keep needs to be people who are like-minded. People who are healthy physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally because these are the people who will lift you higher when you need it most and encourage you to push on even through those difficult and challenging times. They will also hold you accountable and not allow you to make excuses.

Find a mentor so you will have someone to look up to. This person doesn't even have to know you. As I work to build my multi-million dollar company I study those in my field (motivational and empowerment) who have already done what I'm working to accomplish. I study people like Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Les Brown, Brian Tracey, Tavis Smiley, Jack Canfield, Deepak Chopra, Iyanla Vanzant, and others.
I also study people who are self-made multi-millionaires and billionaires in business, like Mark Cuban, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Sara Blakely. Learn from the best, those who have paved the way. See what mistakes they made, how they bounced back from failure, and how they went on to achieve their dreams.

6) Think Big

“I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.” – Donald Trump

The Donald speaks the truth. Don't limit your dreams. Why? People who achieve greatness don't accept limitations. Regardless of your race, age, creed, color, background, gender, religion or sexual orientation, refuse to
allow your passion and creatively to be hindered. Set your dreams and goals high, but make sure they are reasonable and attainable.

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember you can achieve.” – Mary Kay Ash

7) Put In The Work Required

To fulfill your dreams it will take hard work and lots of sacrifice on your part. If you work a regular 40 hour a week job, you'll need to find time to put in another 40 hours or more a week for your dream. This may mean giving up going out with your friends for awhile, limiting TV watching, and submerging yourself in books, workshops, conferences, and activities that will help you learn what you need to know and allow you to network with others who can support your goal.

8) Ignore the Naysayers

As a former drug addict, criminal and prostitute, if I had listened to all the people in my life who told me I couldn't accomplish my dreams and that I was doomed to a life of welfare, drugs, criminal activity, and prison then that's the life I would have. However, I refused to listen to the naysayers. I always held on to my dreams and had faith that I would one day become a college graduate, an author, a competitive athlete, a filmmaker, and a businesswoman. I have been blessed to have accomplished all those things and more. As I work to build Jillian Bullock Enterprises, LLC, my fitness, wellness and empowerment company into a multi-million dollar business, I constantly dream bigger and better. Those people who don't understand or can't support my dream, I let them go. I don't give in to the negative energy.

People who don't see the bigger picture will try to distract you and bring you down. You've probably heard of the terms – "Crabs in a barrel," or "Playa hater." Only because those people are living a life of boredom or unhappiness or they're frustrated because they aren't fulfilling their dreams, they want you to be just as miserable as they are. Don't you feed into their negative energy.

Actor Will Smith said, "If you're not there during my struggles, don't expect to be there during my success."

Keep that in mind because once you do fulfill all your dreams those same people who doubted you, or who tried to hold you back, will be singing a different tune.

9) You Deserve Greatness

Basically it comes down to how bad you want your dream to become a reality. Sure, you can wish and hope and pray, but if you don't the take steps, even if they're baby steps, in the right direction you will never achieve what you set out to do. No one said it will be easy, because it won't. Everybody's dream is different and important to them. One person may dream of raising productive, wholesome, respectful children and another person may dream of finding a cure for AIDS. Regardless of what your dream may be or despite the odds and obstacles against you practically nothing is impossible to achieve. You have to believe it. You have to claim it as truth.

When I was going to college to earn a degree in Communications, I had three children to raise while I attended college and worked at the Wall Street Journal full-time. I was also a member of the R.O.T.C. and in the Army Reserves. It took me 11 years to finish college because of all the responsibilities I had. Sometimes I had to go to school part-time, sometimes I had to take a semester off. However, I continued to press forward and not make excuses for why I couldn't finish school. I didn't care how long it took, I envisioned myself walking across that stage in my cap and gown and having that degree placed in my hand.

Always remember – "To be a champion, you must think like one." Never let your past dictate what your future will be. Finally, if someone says you can't do something, just look them in the eyes and say, "Watch Me."

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