Last year two state police officers were called to remove my boyfriend from my home. I told him I wanted him to move out because he was doing drugs. As a result, he threatened to smash everything in my home on the way out along with taking one of my cats. One officer was very professional. The other was rude. I cried all night and most of the next day. I could not believe at forty-three years old I was still dealing with domestic violence.
My opinion is when you are a police officer domestic issues are part of your job. If you cannot professionally handle those situations, then you should get another profession. I question whether the police who are unprofessional when it comes to dealing with domestic violence are the one’s guilty of the crime themselves. Police should not subject domestic violence victims to verbal and emotional abuse. My last resort in any of my abusive relationships was to call the police. It wasn’t until my third abusive relationship with my first husband I called the police for the very first time after over a year of abuse. I grew up knowing never to get the police involved. Even in the other abusive relationships that followed, I would tolerate abuse for many hours before I would call the police. Most of the times I would fight back without ever calling them.
One abuser ran up my phone bill calling the sex phone lines. I stopped having any intimate contact with him because of the abuse he was subjecting both my daughter and I to. The lack of intimacy upset him, so he said this was his way of showing me there was something wrong with our relationship. There were some serious abusive issues going on and all he cared about was sex. This was the last straw that finally made me break off the relationship for good after five years of many reconciliations. He knew law officials because he was a prison guard.
On Valentine’s day the Sheriff gave me a civil court order. He was suing me for a vanity he gave my daughter for Christmas, a scanner I bought him for Christmas, a microwave, and an engagement ring he gave me. But he did not have a problem prior to moving out taking a camera he bought me for Christmas. He said in court the vanity was his. My daughter testified he gave the vanity to her as a present. I testified he put my daughter’s old vanity in his truck and went with us to give it to my friend’s daughters. I never knew of any man who owned a vanity. As for the engagement ring, I explained to the judge the reason why the engagement ended was because he was calling the sex line while my daughter and I slept.
I informed the judge when I confronted my ex about the $800 phone bill he said it was due to being mad at me for not being intimate with him, so I broke of the engagement for my daughter’s safety saying I was fearful next time he would turn to my developing daughter instead of the phone lines. Our testimony fell on deaf ears because the judge ruled in his favor. I lost the case before I even walked into the building. I tried my best to explain to my ten-year-old daughter why she had to return a present. I immediately bought her a nicer vanity, but this should have never happened. Knowing all of this, I think I have earned the right to have no faith in the judicial system.
In the summer of 2008 an elderly man driving pulled up besides me as I was just about to walk into the local courthouse. He said to me, “Hey, there little girl I got some candy in here for you.” I was flabbergasted. The man then said, “Oh, well it worked in Girardville.” I informed a Sheriff employee what had occurred. He told me I should have written down the license plate number because then he could have had him arrested for solicitation.
Since I seen where the man parked I went outside to write down the license plate number. I then gave it to the Sheriff employee. He ran the number. He then told me he had to speak with his supervisor. A few minutes later he told me the police were on their way. In the meantime, the man approached me again opening his hand showing me a yellow starbust saying, “See, I told you I had some candy for you.” I ran into the Sheriff’s office pointing out the man telling him he approached me again. The Sheriff told me the plate number belonged to him. I was relieved when a female officer arrived. When I told her what happened, her response was, “Ill, that is creepy. I pointed to the three witnesses who were there when he showed me the starburst.
The Sheriff approached the officer showing her a piece of paper with the license plate number along with a name written on it, but he would not let me see it. The officer told me she was going to speak to the witnesses saying she would call me when her report was complete. Before I left the courthouse parking lot I wrote down the make, model, and plate number of the vehicle for my records. That is when I noticed the vehicle was parked in the “EMPLOYEE “Handicap parking space. When I finally spoke with the officer, she told me no charges were going to be filed. She said she spoke with him and his coworkers and felt I had nothing to worry about. My reply was, “Of course he is not going to tell you what his true intentions were.” I also said I wanted to know what he meant by “it worked in Girardville.”
I then told the officer I was not worried about me. I was worried about the little girls or boys he may have already harmed or may in the future. I asked her for his name, but she refused to give it to me because he was a County employee. I told her I was the victim who had a right to his name. I also told her this was discrimination against defendants who are not employed by the County. She still refused, so I contacted SWIC. They did absolutely nothing for me. They would not return my calls. When I finally did speak to the person handling my case, she informed me someone else filed a similar complaint against this man, but the police and the employer decided not to pursue any charges. They decided giving him a verbal warning on both incidents was sufficient minimizing what he did by saying he was “a little off.”
My reply was, “Well, aren’t all predator a little off?” I also said, “Shame on all of them if this man is harming children.” The SWIC contact informed me because I told the officer I was a victim of sexual abuse she felt I was a little too sensitive to this matter, which I disagreed with. I told her she should know statistics prove predators try to lure children into their vehicles with candy. After many calls to SWIC I finally received the man’s first name, but the contact said she could not remember the last name. I asked her if she could get it for me because I wanted it because what if I would hear on the news or read in the paper this person was charged with harming someone. I could then be a witness testifying he tried to lure me into his vehicle. She told me I would not be called in as a witness, which I also disagreed with. She told me she would call me back with his last name, but it has been over a year and I am still waiting for that phone call. I am confused as to why SWIC would not have my documented case available when they spoke with me. I smell a cover-up because of where this man works. As I said, “Shame on all of them if this man is a predator.”