I woke up this morning with an extreme sense of calm. Yesterday just before noon, I was called into Human Resources. I was so pre-occupied with everything else going on in my life … see previous post about my farm. So as I’m listening to how my company is having to make payroll cuts, I say to myself, ok they’re cutting my salary, that’s ok, I’m a saver, I can get by. And then it hits me—they’re laying me off.
As I sat there looking numbly at this woman, all I could think was, it must suck to do her job. She kept asking if I had any questions. My only question was whether I would get my vacation paid out. As I was escorted back to my desk to clean out and leave, I looked at my computer and thought, “I don’t have to call that person back, I don’t have to sit in on that meeting tomorrow, I don’t have to book that flight.” I actually had to control my emotions to keep from smiling. This is what I’ve been waiting for.
I’ve watched three layoffs in my almost seven years with this company and I kept saying, I hope when it’s my turn, it happens in summer. I walked out of the building yesterday to 70 degrees and sunshine. I’m being let go with eight weeks severance and three weeks (and three days) vacation. That’s nearly three months! In summertime!
Those that know me could predict that the first thing I did was register for unemployment. Of course I did, I’m no dummy. With unemployment benefits and severance, I’m going to be able to make it for a year without dipping into my savings. The only downside is that my insurance will end on May 31. I’m a pretty healthy person, so I’m willing to take that gamble.
Today as I woke up with the sun and went about my normal routine, all I feel is freedom. Maybe I’ll take a trip to LA to visit my pregnant friend. Maybe I’ll take a job on the boardwalk and relive my early twenties. Maybe I’ll visit grandmom once a week without the pressures of a regular schedule.
This was probably supposed to devastate me, but I wasn’t the only one. There were seventeen of us let go yesterday. It’s not a reflection of my performance, it’s simply the world we live in today. I get to start over again; I get to figure out what I want out of a career. Maybe I’ll move down to Tennessee and take over my dad’s farm. (Again see previous blog).
Life is truly what you make of it. I could spend days crying and stressing or I could just smile and enjoy the time off. I’m off to the boardwalk to enjoy this beautiful sunny day.