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Today I witnessed a remarkable event. I was sent a link to a YouTube video … I admit it’s the first I’ve seen. Intrigued by the article accompanying the link, I had to play the video. I watched in amazement as an attractive middle aged woman used the medium to rant against her husband, a famous theatre owner in New York who is in the process of divorcing her. A prenuptial agreement could foil a fair settlement.

As quoted from AOL, “She goes through their wedding album on camera, describing family members as ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ or ‘nasty,’ and talks about how her husband is allegedly trying to evict her from their luxury apartment. She also makes embarrassing claims regarding their intimate life, and then calls his office on camera to repeat those claims to a stunned assistant.” Listening to her made me wince for I recognized the terror in her bravado. Her bluster is practically dripping in pain.

It was sad and it made me sad … until I read the critical and debasing comments posted below. Forget the ones from the men; it was the women who appalled me the most. I went from sad to mad in sixty seconds, just like the bad old days of PMS.

In my twenties, when I was a vibrant and successful career woman, the “NEVER” was ubiquitous in almost any conversation I was party to. “I would NEVER give up my career for a man,” or “I would NEVER allow myself to be abused physically or emotionally by a man, and of course, “I would NEVER stay with a man who cheated on me.”

In my thirties, the word “NEVER” made fewer appearances in my vocabulary. I had sold my company, but it was merely “a career transition … a lateral move … to support my husband’s business.” After all, we were in the same industry. I signed a prenuptial agreement, because, for the record, gold diggers don’t sign prenuptial agreements. Plus, I wasn’t exactly, positively sure if my husband was faithful.

On my fiftieth birthday, six months after my husband walked out on me, I blacked out the word NEVER in my dictionary. It’s amazing how one’s rock solid doctrine evolves, or dissolves, with age and magically, a crystal clear image appears in the rear view mirror.

So to all the young women who crow “NEVER” like an ageless sacred mantra, I hope you do hold the word close and NEVER forget NEVER. Burn it on your brain, keep it close in your heart and learn from those who forgot it for whatever reason … love, security, or examples they were presented by parents or peers.

But don’t judge. NEVER judge … oops! Sorry … old dictionary. It isn’t your place to tread on one who’s already fallen. You’re a woman … have some compassion. Because girlfriend, you NEVER know when you might be in need of reciprocal consideration.


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