It was one of those rainy weekends that I recalled why I choose to be here. Doing all the settling things in my mind, I can’t turn back time nor keep anything to have it back. I’m walking forward to it. A dream of blue and yellow snakes reminded me. It won’t be long before I realized it better. Yes, the world is at my hands. I know, I’m a great believer of that, an achiever to be exact. But this afternoon, I just wanted to be home writing this out of my mind think-tank ideas. Am I missing something? Am I missing someone?
I wanted to be in the beach. If mind can travel per seconds to see the vision, for sure, I can almost feel the white sands in my feet and I know, I’m back in Boracay! Seeing those lovely couple, the man wearing white, the lady wearing red, holding hands while walking in the sands under the faded yellowish sunlight of afternoon. I grasped for breath, it’s amazing. I feel like I was her and He was him. But I can’t figure out who is really him.
I should be in my office but here I am, journaling the lines of my mind, hearing the song of Hillsong, Hosanna. This rain makes me sentimental of valued memories. I remember the guy who asked for the umbrella cause he’s getting wet outside. We became friends in one of the prestigiou organization of the university and turned out to be one of my closest friends. The one who used a violet umbrella whom I used to be my favorite color then who became a great artist and respect each others admiration for each others talent and differences.
It was rainy when I meet ‘Simple Like’ when I was still becoming a good girl of Singles for Christ (so I feel vulnerable of his gestures that lead me half-astray of affection). And I can’t remember who is ‘Falling Star’ that time. See, I renamed those people whom I did like. But everyone remained my friends. I give up for “Batanes” cause I cannot have his music nor his arts for it (though his smile stacked in my mind). Oh! this rain makes me just sit down in the beach and watched the fading orange rays of sunset. It’s awesome!
How about the playful rain that makes him wet his shirt? Ah! that’s the funny one cause I experienced the same thing one day before the storm. I do not have any name for him. I just didn’t name him ever since. I didn’t label any affection for him. Cause I lost him in track several years ago. I almost forgot him, even forgotten the affection I had in him (read my Praying Heart, it was for him). My 100 days coming to an end. I didn’t know if he’s still waiting. I didn’t know if I’m going to write another Praying Heart series again (but I’m used to it anyway). And I hope my future God’s Gift doesn’t laugh at me when the time came he’s reading this. He might me be saying, ‘God knows how to divert traffic. It just happens that I noticed the most beautiful women on the street and asked her if she can take a ride with my car since she let every car passes her by. What’s in her weirdest mind that time. So with all my gentleness, regardless of a yes or no, I stepped up for courage to ask. And I’ve got you here in my arms’. What a funny line again. (see I even structured how would you say that my dearest God’s gift :)
The rain stopped. I need to be back in my reality in front of a big decision ahead. If meeting the world’s standard, it’s normal. But to my great lover in the world, my God, you are the only one whom I pleasing. And if by chance or choice, I fall behind, I know, you’re going to catch me.