If I could sum up my life at this pertinent point in time, or venture to dream up something completely idealistic and eccentric that personifies me in one word, it would be “funambulist.” An imaginative deviation from reality, into my fantastical world as it looks and feels; a single word that alludes to fun and whimsy. Funambulism, or tightrope walking, is the art of maintaining balance while walking along a tensioned wire between two points … the act of a skilled acrobat.
I have become quite accomplished at my balancing act, a perfected mess. Externally, I resemble most other girls, attempting to balance kids, household duties, friendships, and marriage. It all appears so effortless from our skewed perspectives of each other. Disguising the naked truth with my most exquisite guise, I’m preparing for my superb rendition before a live audience. From where I stand, the outcome of this scenario looks very unpredictable, with a few possible endings. The moment has arrived, to begin the long walk across the flimsy strand beneath my fickle steps. Attempting to maintain my state of equilibrium, I swiftly skim the room to capture the familiar faces of some of my spectators.
Almost immediately, I notice Sorrow staring at me from the front row. I avert my eyes quickly to find Solace nearby. Directly across the bustling crowd, I make eye contact with a cherished friend, Faith. If it wasn’t for Faith, I wouldn’t even have the courage to take a single step. Not far off in the distance I catch a glimpse of Indignant and Slander glaring at me; I never invited them. Masquerading as my friends, they slipped in through the back door to analyze my every move. Their careless whispers are drowned out by the overwhelming cheers of Affirmation and Truth, encouraging me not to give up. I spot Adversity and Challenge looming just below me, a harsh reminder of why I need to stay focused and not lose my footing. I will face them one day at a time. Out of the corner of my eye, I can make out the faces of many loyal friends and loved ones. Doubt sneaks into a nearby seat and I’m beginning to wonder how much longer I can walk this fine line. I feel weary and this all seems way too difficult. From my perspective, there seems to be no end in sight, just more of the same.
Somewhere among the sea of faces is the one I have invited as my guest of honor, my biggest fan. In the midst of all the mayhem, I hear a sweet and familiar voice calling my name. There, front and center I see him gazing intently into my eyes. God had been here all along and he brought Hope and Future with him. He has always promised to never leave me or forsake me in my times of need, and he has never broken a promise. My friend has seen me strive to hang on by the delicate fibers that make up my wounded heart. He has been quietly waiting in the audience for me to seek out his face, serving as a focal point in order to circumvent my predicament. Hope and Future are reaching out for me to take a hand. As I look down at the chaos below, I am comforted by my dear friend’s words. He knows me so well. I’m told again that he has a plan to get me out of this mess. The kind of plan that will bring prosperity and not harm, a perfect plan to give me hope and a future. I like this plan. I may be balancing many things at this time, with very few intermissions, but I have seen the tender and loving face of my friend and that gives me hope. He will always be my counterbalance.