In November of 2005 I lost my best friend and first love to a drunk driving accident. It was quite possibly the most devastating experience of my life. Though it’s been five years since his death the pain often still feels so fresh. I live with so much guilt for the things that went left unsaid, unfinished, and undone. So I write to express how I am feeling … it’s all I can do.
She sits in agony as she waits for her future, whatever it may be. Alone in the darkness she cries, will she ever find what she is searching for? As the tears roll down her cheek a figure appears in moonlight. It’s the face of someone she once loved. As she gazes upon his face once again, he whispers something gentle in her ear, washing away all the pain and fear. “It’s okay to smile, just see it and try, I am always with you, I have not gone away. The love in my heart did not die with me that day. Do not fill your life with guilt, for I hold no anger in my heart for you. I know you have not forgotten me, your heart does not know how to. You see me everyday; every time you look in the mirror and smile I am there. Whenever you laugh I am there, whenever you are with those you love I am there. Live your life even though I can no longer live mine. Just make me this one promise that everyday you’ll keep me in your heart, for this is another day I can live again.”
She listens to his words as he begins to fade into the stars, her heart is at ease, and she can finally rest. She knows it is okay to move on and finds a way to smile again. The dagger piercing her heart has finally been removed, and a feeling she had been missing for so long returns … as she opens her eyes and looks into the horizon. She can see her future, filled with love and joy, next to her is a figure holding her up every step she takes. Standing next to her husband, looking down on her children, walking hand and hand with those she lost along the way. She has kept her promise thus keeping him alive, to be with her for all eternity.