Dear Younger Self,
I know this is a little weird. If you’re reading this, it means one of two things: either the U.S. Postal Service has made sweeping advancements in the exploration of wormholes or you’ve finally invented a time-traveling burrito. Either way, don’t be alarmed—I’ve just come by to answer a few of your most pressing questions and offer a nugget or two of helpful advice.
Right now, your fashion hero is Punky Brewster. I know you imagine yourself growing out of this stage and into impossibly chic ensembles, à la the fabulous Iona in Pretty in Pink, but guess what? Today I/you wore a fuchsia polyester poodle skirt with a baggy striped shirt to work. The Punky gene never leaves; it just mutates. But don’t worry—we’re better off this way. Life’s too short to spend that much time applying eyeliner.
In a few years, you will be struck by the earth-shattering revelation that you will be the world’s first white female rapper. This will occur shortly after you master the lyrics to “Ice Ice Baby” and impress yourself by reciting them ten times in a row, nonstop, while doing the Running Man. The magnitude of your accomplishments will inspire you to create a character named Rap Queen, who will rule over Rapland in GATE that year and perform a lil’ ditty in front of more than a few living, breathing humans. Please reconsider all of this—it turns out you’ll know these classmates for a very long time.
And lastly, I know growing up sounds like a total drag. But trust me, just like your (totally awesome) clothing choices, the basics of who you are and what’s important don’t ever disappear; they just expand. As long as you want to keep laughing, exploring, creating, and connecting, you will. And there absolutely is magic in adult life. As a bonus, boys will become less gross, eventually, and you won’t ever have to play tetherball again. All in all, life is good.
Give your parents and big bro a hug for me,
Read the next Letter to My Younger Self: Motivate Me
Ten Things I’d Love to Tell My Younger Self
Seven Simple Ways Simplicity Will Make You Happy