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The Rebound

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The rebound guy is the guy that my family always feels is good for me. And this man that I love is the rebound. Not to say that I will get rid of him for someone else who I feel is better. Trust me, I had my pick of men, and at this age, I am ready to just be single for the rest of my life.

It’s one thing to not love someone and just have a sexual relationship. It’s another when you say you love someone and you don’t trust her. Why put yourself in the way of finding what is real? Or why hold on to what happened from your old relationship? It destroys the new relationship and besides the decision was made out of loneliness.

My choice to be in a relationship was made after I let go of my old dependent self and walked into a new sense of independence, respect, and love for myself. I know my limits. I know what to tolerate and I know he does not trust me. It’s not my fault; he was a cheater and he was cheated on.

My life has been so up and down and I see no way through this anymore. In the beginning, it was fine. I would just shrug it off my shoulder and not say anything. But now it’s different. Really. He made plans for me and my kids move in with him. Now these plans are not going to happen in my mind.

How can you proclaim to love me when you don’t trust me? There’s nothing else but this. Mistrust!! You trust everyone who wants to do you wrong, but you don’t trust the one who loves you: me. I don’t know. Today was it. All the questioning me like I am cheating or running with other people. Nothing is worth leaving everything I worked for to be with a knucklehead with no life.

This is the rebound from a relationship that ended ten years ago. I let it go and I was ready. But now I don’t know.


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