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Returning Home at 35

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Look out everyone! You think your parents are kicking up their heels when we move out? Well, I know we are! Our parents don't run around having sex when we depart, (gag), but we certainly do! Married or single, leaving home is a rite of passage: a time to explore, fail, and succeed.

I am the oldest of four children. The last three at one time or another were forced to return home for various reasons: student loans, divorce, and lay-offs. I prided myself that I was the responsible one. Being responsible meant I would only taste success in all that I did. Obviously my siblings had not planned as well as me.

I'm glad I didn't have a crystal ball to see that my independence was not permanent. Life struck me full in the face. I was the successful type-A personality. I didn't know what it was to taste failure. How could I be humbled in the worst possible way? Clearly, there was a lesson to be learned but I was not prepared to be tutored!

In the blink of an eye I was unemployed. All of my hard work: the long hours, scanning the company financials to save them money, suggesting cost-savings techniques: it all backfired. I performed my job so well, they literally used me and threw me away like so much garbage. But guess who thought I was not trash, but treasure? My parents!

Tail between my legs, I moved home at the age of 35. How did this happen to me? Why me? Poor me? I didn't deserve this. It was demoralizing!

Being served my mom's fattening food, and being delegated to a spare bedroom and living area, I was completely and totally stressed out.

It took a lot of understanding on the part of my parents and myself to accept lifestyle boundaries, believe in myself again, express my gratitude, and rediscover pride in the small accomplishments; not just the larges ones. It is okay to fail, have needs, and reach out to others.

Yes, it must be odd for my parents to have me home, but I have learned that parents love their children unconditionally, are supportive, interfering, annoying, and oh so comforting!


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