Sometimes Love Means Saying No

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I have been hearing from so many friends and clients about how crazy their lives seem right now … so many goodbyes, so many disappointments, so many moments of scratching ones head and saying, “Huh?”

I wrote earlier about how we are feeling ourselves skipping merrily down a path, then suddenly look down to see that the path has crumbled away before our feet. We are then faced with making a new choice for a very different direction. There is indeed a good reason for this.

We are at yet another critical juncture in earth’s and humanity’s continuing expansion—an intersection of energies that look like a giant wave of unconditional love building up to move onto us (right around the Equinox) and the deep longing of our souls to express authentically. This intersection of energies is very powerful, and as a result, we are seeing the surprising, abrupt and/or sometimes violent removal of things in our lives. These things can include relationships with people who have been in our lives a long time, jobs, geographical locations, health, a sense of purpose in our lives, and illusions about ourselves, perceptions that are simply not accurate. All of these can be casualties in this time of letting go of what is not truly us.

As usual, I am not immune! My own situation is that my birth family has briefly re-entered my life, bringing with them a very old energetic dynamic that has not changed since I was a little girl. I will spare you the details; the essence is that I have been invited to re-engage in the illness that created such havoc in my own life, that I have spent over twenty years healing from, making a choice to reclaim my divinity and joy. It has been a very surprising re-emergence of this energy!

My own journey has been that I have had to decide whether I was going to allow the illness that touched me so deeply as a child to kill me, or whether I was going to stick my chin out and choose to thrive regardless. I made the decision to live, no matter what. Sometimes that choice has looked like setting boundaries (very hard thing to do when there were none growing up), and sometimes that has looked like politely but firmly saying “No” to invitations to fall back into old patterns.




I love myself enough to say NO when what is presented to me feels like going backwards. This situation in particular has been so clear. If I were to re-engage with the old, sick energies of my birth family in the way they are requesting, I would die. No ifs, ands, or buts. Literally, at a physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual level, it would mean death for me.

Choosing to take care of myself is a moment-to-moment choice, one that requires me to be an exquisite parent to my inner child. Sometimes that means being the Mama Bear, and ferociously protecting my wee one. Some might say that if we are loving, we forgive and forget. I say that if the other party in a relationship is not making the same efforts to be in integrity, it is a losing proposition. Will I throw my little girl under the bus in the name of being more “spiritual,” being a “bigger person,” having “greater awareness”? Will I choose to sacrifice myself and my sanity in order to appease others who have not done their own inner work? Have I not been taught by the Angelic realm that loving myself unconditionally first, and doing no harm to ME, is Divine Law? Who will advocate for the child inside of myself, if not me?

I have to much to live for … I have created a beautiful a blessed life of health and healing and unconditional love and wholeness. I have a bright future ahead. I have everything to lose and nothing to gain if I turn my back on the light and walk willingly back into that darkness. And so, I say NO.

Where are you finding that the universe is presenting you the opportunity to say no to something that is representative of an old version of you?

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