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Soul Searching!!

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I want to begin by saying over the years I have done a lot of soul searching, wondering what to make of my life, at least the rest of the life I have left. I am a forty-two year old female with a history. I know you may say if you read this article we have heard it all before about women being abused by their parents and also husbands. But as I was growing up in the deep south in rural Mississippi, I had dreams, big dreams which none of them have come true yet. I wanted to grow up and be someone important to get a great job, paying lots of money so that I could buy my mother and father a decent house to live in and be proud of, somewhere where the whole family all fourteen kids could get together and enjoy our selves. But when I met my husband and the first year after we were together hell broke loose and it was abuse and put downs and my self esteem was gone, I felt lower than low and that know one could pull me out.

So in two years I had two babies and no one to depend on but myself to take care of them. My parents couldn’t help because they were dirt poor. All they could give me was some advice and I couldn’t move back home because there were still eight brothers and sisters at home, in a five room house and they were barely fed. Well this is just some of my story it gets worse and if I continue right now I will start crying and never finish.


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