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Story of a Childhood Molestation

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This is my story.

Mum and Dad were loving parents. Mum had left work to look after my Twin sister and brother. Dad was a mechanic and mum had started baby sitting other kids to make some extra money for the family. This is what I remembered.

What you have to understand is that the mind is very powerful. When someone goes through traumatic experiences the mind puts up a protective barrier. This has the ability to block out the experience from the memory and hide it away from consciousness. Certain things can trigger these memories back into existence.

It started with Lauren. I was working at my first job. She started working with us. From the moment she walked in I hated her. She seemed nice enough seemed familiar but for some reason I hated her. I was rude and ignorant towards her with no real reason why. I had finished a long shift and was talking with mum. I mentioned Lauren and she said you know I used to baby sit her and her sister when you kids were younger. This was my trigger. This was the moment the blindfold was ripped from my face.

Mum baby sat three girls, Belinds (twelve), Lauren (three) and her sister Alysha (fourteen). Lauren would play with my sister and brother, who were almost the same age in the kids room where Belinda would play Barbies and keep an eye out for them. Mum was always watching a movie in the kids room, cleaning the house or cooking the the kitchen. This left me and Alysha to play on our own.

We were all watching tv one afternoon when Alysha asked me if I wanted to play a game she called “girlfriend boyfriend.” She said to go to the bunk beds she was going to the toilet, she would be there in a minute. We started playing the game. It was fun. We pretended she met me at the shops and asked me on a date, we even pretended afternoon tea the next day was our first date. We would play every afternoon. One afternoon Alysha said it was time for our first kiss. I was scared I told her I didn’t want to, she said that boyfriends and girlfriends that love each other kissed and if I didn’t she wouldn’t play with me anymore. I didn’t want her to stop playing so I said ok. I being so young I didn’t know what to do, I was six at the time. I was so scared I was shaking. Alysha kissed me and played the part of the boyfriend taking off her jumper telling me to put it on I was cold. After a while kissing just became part of the game. Alysha told me it was my turn to be the boyfriend. I really didn’t want to be the boyfriend so I said no. She was so angry with me. She refused to play with me anymore.

My sister and I shared a bedroom. I always wanted the bottom bunk bed so I could make a cave but mum said my sister was far too you to be on the top but we could swap when she was older. I was allowed to built a cave and play during the afternoons if I wanted. I was in the bedroom after school and I had built a cave on the bunk by draping sheets from the top bunk to cover all the sides. I loved playing in my cave it was so much fun. I heard someone come it. Alysha climbed into my cave. She asked me if I wanted to play girlfriend boyfriend. I was so happy she wanted to play again. She told me if I wanted to play I had to do everything she said. She told me to lay down on the bed. She lay next to me and started kissing me. She lifted up my dress and started tracing around my belly button. I laughed because she was tickling me and she said to shut up. She asked me if I wanted to try something she saw on tv that girlfriends and boyfriends do all the time. I said yes. She started kissing me again and started tracing along the edges of my underwear. It made me feel funny and tickled, but I didn’t laugh incase she got angry again. Alysha started rubbing me from the outside. She asked me if it felt good. It felt funny and I told her. She said that’s good. She climbed on top of me and started grinding herself against mine. She put her hand inside my underwear and pushed herself inside of me. It hurt and I told her to stop it she was hurting me. She was angry. She held my down by the throat. She started to rub and fondle from the outside and asked if that was better it that felt good. I was really scared and pulled her hair. I left the cave and ran toward the bedroom door. She had shut it. She pulled my hair before I could get out and shut the door again. She pushed me against the bed and went on grinding and fondling. She said this is what girlfriends and boyfriends do when they love each other. And that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone because it was a secret. If I told then we couldn’t play anymore. Even though I was scared I knew she wouldn’t play with me anymore and she was my friend. So I didn’t tell. This game went on for a long time. I don’t remember how long and I don’t remember much of the other game play. Just the first time she touched me like that.

We were in the bedroom one day. My mum came in and saw what was happening. Mum was so angry she yelled and yelled and then she smacked the two of us. She said we weren’t allowed to play together anymore and she was calling Alysha’s mother. Months passed and we weren’t even allowed to talk. I kind of felt like I was in trouble, it was all my fault. After a while whenever the chance arouse when we weren’t being watched Alysha would molest me again. This went on right up until mum stopped babysitting and went back to work.

I confronted my Mum about what happened. She was honest and told me everything. Things I still don’t remember. Mum told me she tried and tried to stop Alysha doing it. She said she rang Alysha’s mother and told her she wouldn’t babysit her kids anymore and how Alysha’s mother came begging at the door one night to babysit she couldn’t afford anywhere else and how my mum couldn’t say no. She told me that for years I was having nightmares waking up screaming telling her not to let Alysha come back, begging her.

Although my Mum was honest with me and told me everything. I hate her for it and will never forgive her, What kind of mother can witness this and let that same person come back near her child, let alone leave then unattended ever again? How can she bring that girl back into the house when her child is screaming and begging and having endless nightmares. Great parenting right there. Protection of your child should be priority over anything else.

As for Alysha. I heard she is now a lesbian. I’ve never seen her again and god hope I don’t. That sick twisted sorry excuse for a human molested me. She even went as far to try and make me like it, tried to make a six-year-old feel good sexually. That’s messed up. She even covered herself so she could get away with it. I hope she never has kids and hope nobody ever has her do this to them. 

If you are a parent reading this be well aware you kids are at risk from anyone it is not limited to males and adults. Watch your kids. Keep your eyes are on them at all times.


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