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Sunshine and Lollipops

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As I slowly awakened this morning, a deep yearning started to grow inside me … a deep wanting to be loved, feel love, and to have an unquestionable knowledge that I am loved. I realized that I am surrounded by love, and I wondered deeply why it wasn’t enough. What is this yearning all about? I thought about God’s love … and Dan’s love … and the love I receive from my friends and family. I came to the conclusion that love, to me, is “the ultra special treatment.” It is a looking into someone’s eyes, knowing that I am their one and only. It is my heart’s questions, answered. It is the other person going out of their way to think of me and do something special for me. It doesn’t have to be an action … It can be a kind word, a small gift, or an act of kindness, something that is given without any expectation of return. I thought about God and how He loves everyone the same. As I sat in the stillness of the beautiful afternoon on my porch with a half cup of chocolate milk, suddenly, from the partly cloudy sky came the sun bright in its beautiful glory. And I realized that God, too, has His own special way of showing me He cares, even when I’m not paying attention. And I remembered how Dan brought home from work different flavors of coffee-flavored energy drinks for me, because he hates coffee, but thought I might like them (his work was getting rid of them for some reason). Or how, when I was feeling particularly badly one night, he wanted to buy me a plant (he couldn’t decide between a grape vine or seeds for veggies), until he realized that I would have nowhere to plant it where I live. What spoke to me more, was his gentle understanding of my feeling badly, and wanting to make it better, even in the tiniest way.

I need these moments often … to sit quietly to reflect. Without them, I don’t see the beauty and love that is right in front of me, and I start to take it for granted. And I know, that when one starts to take for granted the great people in his life, that is when he starts to lose them.

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