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A Survival Guide for the Nice Girls

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Can you believe it? I actually Googled “How to be a bitch.” Shouldn’t it naturally come to women? Sure, but not to the nice girls! Some women are way too nice. I feel that way and I know I am not alone.


Do you ever wonder why you can’t be opinionated like others? Why is it so hard for you to speak your mind when others do it in a snap of a finger? If being a bitch comes to women naturally, so does being nice. This is probably the reason women are conventionally viewed as caring and sympathetic figures. Although in today’s contemporary times, being a bitch is gaining a lot of positive popularity and it is closely linked to being determined, assertive, opinionated, and bold. I like to call this the bitch era.


It is not easy for a nice girl to survive in the bitch era. Certainly, you should be nice. I am not telling you to walk around like you are on PMS every day of your life. Friendliness is a virtue and we should all try to achieve it, but extreme friendliness is a vice. Aristotle explains this theory in his work, The Nicomachean Ethics. He believes that virtue is the mean of two vices. Someone who is pleasant and nice in the right way is friendly, while someone who exceeds in the nice category is an obsequious person and someone who lacks niceness is a rude person.


Friendliness is a virtue, but being extremely friendly is regarded as being an excessive vice—obsequious or submissive. It means being passive and going along with what others want. You know you are a nice girl if you always find yourself adapting to the world. You have a difficult time expressing yourself. You often get stepped on all over by others. You are constantly molded to be someone else. You feel like people do not take you seriously. Other people’s approval is important to you. Sounds familiar? If so, then you are probably one of the nice girls wondering how the world has turned so cruel. Well, I got news for you—if you don’t sprinkle some bitch powder on your candy cane personality, then the world will crush you before you even know it.


It took me a long time before I finally realized how harsh the world can be. People are not mean at heart, but a competitive society makes people cutthroat. Why do you think phrases such as “survival of the fittest” exist? Reality hit me kind of late, but thankfully soon enough, and all of a sudden my fairy tale concept of the world was shattered to be more realistic.


Other people’s approvals should be considered, but not at the cost of your own. Much advice can be taken from the popular quote, “Never make someone your priority when to them you are only an option.” There is no reason to be narrow-minded; keep an open mind. Diverse opinions are beneficial and work best as options, but they should not be sole priorities. You have your own set of unique views and no one else will voluntarily see that. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to do the work. You have to speak your mind at all times. You have to stand up for your beliefs and the people you love. You have to refuse to tolerate injustice and learn to speak against it. You have to be ambitious, confident, and determined. Most importantly, you have to listen to your heart and live life your way. I don’t regret that my fairy tale world is buried somewhere deep inside; instead I am thankful for the experience which gave me strength and made me who I am. Plus, I know that the nice girl inside of me is only a whisper away.

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