Recently I wrote a blog entry under pure hormonal duress. Re-reading after publishing, I realized I’d been in the PMS pity party mush pot. All the problems I had emoted subsided two weeks later, and were now safe lessons in the book of life.
That got me thinking. When is it valuable to have those total breakdowns? When you take them to the hilt, they usually lead to breakthrough: After they take us down, they have the potential to send us back up to an even higher level of understanding and experience than we had before. That being the case, it seems like we could use our hormone surges for good and growth. PMS is coming. Can it help your situation—financial, emotional, practical—to break down, regroup, and break through?
PMS Does the Dirty Work
It’s a great opportunity for bringing out the dark feelings. We usually stuff those. But what if, consciously, we let PMS do the dirty work for us? Ditch the competent Girl Friday, curl into a cuddle on the couch, unplug, and utilize the mood to move you through to a better, more constructive place. Let it take you down, but consciously. How far can you go in your anxiety? How much glumness and fear do you need to puzzle through to gain a new perspective?
Surrender is the beauty of the hormone surge. It gives us permission to really feel. If I hadn’t been hormonal during that stressful period when I wrote my depressing blog post, I would have done what I’m used to doing, which is barreling through. I would have missed the opportunity to try on stillness and newness and not having the answers. I felt unattractive. Sorry for myself. Without access to my resources. It triggered me to think about the worst that could happen, and then helped me realize I could handle it. The crazy thing about hitting bottom is suddenly you get a brand new view. How are you going to use it?
Use Your Hormones for Good
What if PMS were embraced by people as a valuable tool? “Here comes Erin’s PMS. Time to hear what she’s really thinking!” Women could enlist their families and communities to support them: “Don’t let me make decisions because I always regret them later. Don’t let me handle the finances. Have some compassion and objectivity while I go deep.” What if we had more grace and ease around it? What if our community was feeling with us at the same time? What a better state of mind we’d be in! One couple I know has a family period calendar. The husband knows that if Mom is unstable or asking irrational things, he can check the calendar, know exactly what’s happening, and have some compassion about it. (And choose wisely how to engage.)
Consider when there is value in waving the white flag, giving yourself a pity party. Then enroll your community, and use your hormones for good.
Originally published on Green Sherpa