Nowhere is the power of a fear-based mindset more evident than when we sabotage our own dreams … and ultimately our success, too.
Despite our sincere desire or attempt to initiate and bring about real change, to move to a new level of success or to make a difference in our lives or in the world, we often find subtle ways to make sure it doesn’t happen.
We easily render meaningless or without value, the countless reasons as to why we may want something. With just one deeply-held and limiting belief based in fear, we derail ourselves from achieving our heart’s desire.
And sometimes permanently so.
As such, without any conscious awareness of our self-sabotaging ways or the fear underlying them, it’s difficult to stop our behavior or alter our course back toward success.
Thus, here are three signs you have mastered the art of self-sabotage and are operating from a fear-based mindset too:
Sign #1 – You’re stuck in analysis paralysis.
Rather than step out of your comfort zone and make any substantial or tangible change in your life, you mistakenly believe that once you “figure things out” or “identify what’s holding you back” only then can you move forward.
Yet despite all the self-reflection, the self-help or “how-to” books, the workshops and the seminars, you still struggle or fail to apply anything you’ve learned or already know in a consistent way that generates change … and ultimately greater success.
Sign #2 – If you Google the definition of “drama queen” (or king), you’ll find your picture there.
On the verge of stepping onto a new life path or moving to a new level of success, you initiate, create or participate in the drama surrounding other areas of your life with a newfound gusto.
As such, with all your attention focused elsewhere—on an “unhealthy” relationship, your “unfulfilling” job, or your “pain in the butt” boss/client/family member—you’re left with little time or energy to do what’s necessary and required to turn your dreams into a reality. (Again.)
Sign #3 – You regularly dance the “success side-step”.
This is what happens when specific actions taken in one area of your life directly conflict and ultimately sabotage your success in another area of your life. For example:
- You toil tirelessly to reach a pinnacle of success at work or in your business while any form of self-care—necessary to support your long-term health and, thus, that success—goes unmet.
- You decide to make big changes in your life or pursue your dreams, yet then proceed to spend your financial resources or generate large amounts of debt, which limits your ability to follow through on these desired changes.
Of course, the ways in which you may dance the success side-step is endless.
Given your fluency in the art of self-sabotage—and which has been finely honed over the years—few people would ever suspect how adept you are at “getting in your own way.”
Which is why, if you truly want to end the self-sabotage rhetoric and begin finally to speak—and then live—the language of success, you have to name the reason for your fear.
You need to identify the belief you hold about success, including the subsequent and “expected” negative outcome you believe will ensue should you achieve it.
For without this awareness, there can be no true change … or, more importantly, no lasting success.
Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.”
- Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby