As time goes by, you learn many things in life. Or is it the people you interact with who change you? Of course, it is everybody and everything you come across that makes the change.
Lately I can’t help being amused thinking about how much a person can change over time.
During the third year of college in India, I had rifted apart from four of my friends. They were my roommates at college.
I was a quiet girl. My hushed nature had been an acknowledged fact and everyone had become very comfortable with me being just calm and not being hyper or disagreeing with anyone. I had this high inclination toward pleasing everybody around me. So when they dissented me going out with someone whom I liked, it was the first time I ever had a difference with anybody. That created the distance between us.
Anyway, since then we had an enormous gap between us. Even though we saw each other every day, we couldn’t quite converse. Nevertheless, cold expressions and obscure sighs were exchanged. This went on for two years after which the college was completed and everyone headed in their own directions in life.
Life is never seamless. I am a strong, determined, and positive woman. Of course, I knew that life has loads of surprises in store for me. I was ready to take all of it as it came (I still am). I went on with life, not letting that uncomfortable state of affairs affect me—even though the memories of awkward days brushed my heart at times. There were days of loneliness, days of open display of disrespect …
The point is that I was hurt, though I’m not quite sure of the magnitude. Was I not mature enough to let go of their attitude that made me feel bad? And feel good about myself, no matter what? Was I not matured enough to be more easygoing? These are questions I ask myself now. What made me not go up to them and defend myself? Why did I not ask them to quit acting like kids? Billions of questions circle my brain. But I think now I know the answer. I was around my parents until I joined the college. That was the first time I left home and was away to live all by myself. I was learning life. Every silly thing was enlarged in size in front of me.
Ever since I finished college, I have been on my own. I learned a lot. I learned from everything that happened to me. I learned from each person around me. I was careful to keep my friends securely tied up to me. In fact, I was careful choosing friends who really made the word meaningful. I made sure I didn’t let the misunderstandings play a major role in my life. Not that I didn’t have bad acquaintances after that. But I was able to manage my heart away from the ill feelings those could bring me.
The individual in me got stronger with time. She became more expressive. She talked more. Now others can read her emotions. She knows how not to let anything hit her inner self. She can even pass on a piece of wisdom to others. Maturity brings light to you. It enlightens your soul.
Recently, I got requests to be friends from three of those lost roommates/friends on a social networking site. (Those sites work amazingly well.) I did not hesitate a minute to add them as friends. The amazing fact is that I had forgotten all ill feelings from the past. I guess it is the time and the maturity I earned over the time that acted for me. One of them called me from Canada and I was very happy to receive her call after a long time. We had a very pleasant chat over the phone, and needless to say, re-bonding followed the pleasant conversation.
The point is that time does bring change to every individual. Good or bad. It’s up to each one to pick the good for herself. Being with the right people helps. Maturity brings self-confidence to you and the courage to stand up for yourself. It’s up to you to keep up your dignity and keep your head raised always. I think the aim of every individual should be to get that maturity to his or her life in the earliest possible time. To be more easy going, to make your own self happier, to spread the happiness to let your joy bring more joy to people around you and the world always.