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What Women Want

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This could be a complicated question, the question of the century. After so many years, so many personal experiences, and so many other women telling me their own stories, I think I have found the right answer.

Lately, I have been listening to same comment over and over, “You can’t complain because you have the best of both worlds.” From listening to the same words so much, I began pondering about their credibility. Do I really have the best of both worlds? What is it exactly that, that I possess, that other women want so bad? Most of them have a good marriage, at least in the outside. They are also financially stable. They are successful professionals. Some of them enjoy the pleasures of staying at home allowing their husbands to provide for them even the most insignificant item within their wish list.

Who would really want to step in my shoes, a single mother of four, raising all of them by myself? I had to pave my own way through college through hardships and countless needs. No husband to pay my bills. No possible wish list at the time. No cozy bed to share with the loved one. No fat check book because there was no money. Only the dream that one day, I would be still standing on my own feet, enjoying the rewards of hard work and an unbeatable will.

After much thinking, suddenly I did realize their pain. These women lack something that I was blessed with, that passion that was lost in between the dream of a safe nest, which in many cases became their most feared jail. They have gone through a process of total assimilation, losing their true inner selves while I have strengthened mine with every step I have made.

So we have the wife for more than twenty years showing her best smile and pretending that her marriage is solid as a rock after twenty springs. To the world this is a marriage made in heaven. Only she knows that inside those luxurious walls, happiness is only another word in the dictionary, love has turned into routine, and passion is non-existent.
Another would long for the details and spontaneity of the first years. Her life is so boring that she would do anything to be trapped into the claws of an adventure even if it endangers many years of a supposedly solid relationship. She would regret her dreams of a fairy tale when she abandoned all her dreams to follow what she thought her charming prince would be.

I guess, they are right after all, even though I never thought about it; I do have the best of both worlds, maybe what all women out there really want. I raised a loving family where each of us learned how to respect ourselves and accept each other the way we are. I reached my dreams of providing myself with a sound education, a profession I love, and the resources I needed to support my family and create my own wish list without depending on a man to go through it and decide what I could deserve or not. I have gained the respect and admiration of others who look at me as a positive role to follow. I have loved with intensity and have been loved back. I have enjoyed the details, the words, and the spontaneity that is lost after years of routine when the two worst bad habits of human beings flourished: thinking that there will always be a tomorrow and taking everything for granted. I cook when I want to, have no schedules but the ones I chose, have no other responsibilities than the ones I imposed on myself and still share what I have abundantly with those I love.

So, what is it that women want after all? We want undivided attention even after a tough day at work. We want magic and details even after twenty years of sleeping together under the same sheets. We need that frozen glass waiting for us just like we like it, with a nice wine or a cold beer, filled up by the man who shares our lives or the moment. We long for good memories and cherished scenes that would create our happy thoughts in times of struggle. We don’t look for eternity but for here and now to add to our personal stories. As women, we need support but more than that we need honest and untied love. We need to be ourselves, thrive for our dreams, feel satisfied and still be able to have that special someone who will be willing to meet us in the middle to celebrate our accomplishments or gives us a long hug in times of sadness.
Yes, I do have the best of both worlds and today I celebrate my discovery with all the women out there and wish you would create your own piece of heaven in earth. Being a woman is gift. Being yourselves is a blessing.

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