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Wherever You Are, That's Where Healing Can Happen

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In school they didn’t want you to be reactive because it’s disruptive. They want everyone to just go along and get along, or keep everything to themselves anyway. Work situations are like that too, in fact. No matter how much money they spent on “team building trainings,” what they really want, either authentically or artificially, is for people to act like they get along.

Then you look at the “alternative” worlds of thoughts and trainings. More strategies to not react.
Reacting was patriotic after September 11th (2001) and lead us into over a decade of starting wars all over the middle east, escalating the war on Islam and anyone who looked ethnic. For many of us that is a powerful example of why being reactive is bad and we need to stop doing it.

But everything has unintended consequences. One that I have experienced and witnessed as where people lose themselves—a place where people know the “answer” way of how to be, but haven’t really gotten there inside where it counts; they know what it looks like well enough to “zen” or “act” their way there in any area.

In many cases The Answer is forgiveness. On one level, this is totally true and accurate. But if you “zen” your way to forgiveness before really exploring the wound, before exploring the pain to discover the gift, which in turn naturally releases the pent up resistance, judgment = pain— the “through and out” way, you can be sewing the wound closed before it has been cleaned, and then you have a bigger problem later. And along the way you are dis-owning the wound, telling it that it is wrong to feel the way it feels, and giving it tremendous negative power and as we all know, what you disown in yourself will rearrange the universe to get your attention eventually. You know, all the people who are “caught” doing the thing they have been famous for being against? Like all the televangelists who preach against sin and end up in the news for illicit, covert sexual antics. They are just a big, public example, but we all have examples of something like that in our own lives—the disowned part rearranging the universe to get our attention. We can ignore it (free will) until it has no choice but to come back and bite us in the butt in some way (often with some kind of public humiliation involved) all in the effort to get our attention so we can heal something! Oh, the time, effort and pain we could save ourselves and everyone around us when we just honor and validate ourselves!

The way to be guided in all this is to value the information your body is trying to communicate to you as spirit. Emotions are communication from body to spirit. To not judge an emotion that comes up but to let it express itself is a powerful way to validate yourself. Judging and manipulating yourself into another way of feeling is an acceptable and chronic way of invalidating yourself that many of us have learned. But it is time to stop that. Especially in the world of healing and freeing oneself from emotions or limiting thoughts and beliefs, it is time to allow yourself to see what you see, feel what you feel, and think what you think. You just don’t have to “buy” all of it, all the time, so much.

I love the bumper sticker that says, “Don’t believe everything you think.” And its twin-truth, “Don’t believe everything you feel.” I like to think of these concepts as the “maybe” clause. “I’m doomed.”—”maybe not … “ Together these cover the bases for the times when what you really need is a crack in the story, a way for the sunlight of the spirit, some sense of possibilities to get in.

See, you don’t have to buy redemption all in one bite. I love that—even in healing and redemption, we can take baby steps. Which are really the only steps that really work? But you get involved in taking your baby steps and look back and wow—you’ve traveled a whole world from where you were.

©Delia Yeager Jan. 2012


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